First Look Gnomes
Two Dads doing Silly Things.
About First Look Gnomes
Welcome to First Look Gnomes – your all-access pass to quirky insights, unexpected discoverables, and offbeat humour that makes learning fun. Hosted by "Walliams" (broadcasting from the bottom of his garden in Cornwall, England) and Mr Hodgkiss (sharing stories straight from his Garden in Belfast, Northern Ireland), this podcast blends random yet fascinating trivia with genuine, heart-warming dad-jokes and thought-provoking conversation.
Twice a month, these two dads dive into topics that range from historical oddities and bizarre cultural titbits to contemporary curiosities and everyday marvels.
Whether you’re seeking engaging entertainment, a fresh dose of unconventional education, or simply a friendly chat about life’s hidden wonders, First Look Gnomes is here to surprise, enlighten, and delight.
For listeners worldwide—(including those in Laos)—our show is designed to attract curious minds eager for unique, bite-sized revelations.
Tune in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major platforms, and join our community of inquisitive souls who celebrate learning with a laugh.
Remember: Good things come to gnomes who wait… and to those who subscribe, rate, and review!
First Look Gnomes
Gnome Vault: Cornish Knockers, Championship Snooker & The Fart That Started It All
A short, hilarious comedy podcast throwback from First Look Gnomes.
In this Gnome Vault episode, we revisit:
🪓 Cornish Knockers – strange and cheeky mining folklore from Cornwall
🎱 Live Championship Snooker – the slowest sport with the funniest moments
💨 The Fart That Started It All – comedy history you didn’t know you needed
If you love funny short stories, British humour, and weird history, this quick episode will make you laugh, cringe, and probably Google something afterwards.
🎧 Follow First Look Gnomes for more short comedy episodes packed with unpredictable humour and oddball nostalgia.
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I want to discuss the, the phenomenon that is the starter fart now I have no idea what this is, but please, please enlighten me. It's something that's I mean, it's happened to me. I don't know if it's just me or it's something that Just to clarify. Did you say starter fart, starter fart, the starter fart?
Speaker 2:The starter fart.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Repeat the starter fart.
Speaker 1:The starter fart. So it's the phenomenon that is. So my body has seemed to have trained itself like an alarm clock I basically built seemed to have trained itself like an alarm clock. I don't know if that's linked to episode two, my snoring and the way I'm breathing, et cetera, et cetera, but I seem to sort of build up a lot of gas and I get very gassy. And then around 7 o'clock, when my alarm goes off, I just suddenly just wake up having a huge starter fart. Okay, that start basically starts my day. So I don't know, is that, is that just me?
Speaker 2:is that so?
Speaker 1:your first look is actually your first look discussing the phenomenon.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay well, I I I commend you. I'm bringing this to our listeners attention. I think it's an important topic to discuss, but it absolutely is too many.
Speaker 1:Is it me on my own, or a lot of other listeners out there that have the same experience? Well, it's um and their partners you know.
Speaker 2:You know it's brave of you. I'm just gonna say one of them's. As a fellow man, I commend you for bringing this to the table and I just want you to know that this is a safe space. This is a safe space to talk about your startup arts. Thank you. Now, to comfort you and console you, I can confirm that most mornings when I wake up, I will also do a will pass wind williams, I will, I will is it a starter fart?
Speaker 1:so does it wake you? Are you quite regular, are you like you know? Six o'clock, seven o'clock, half a seven on the clock every day.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I mean that that could you could say that's not necessarily a bodily function, that's possibly to do with your alarm going off, that you wake up and then your body starts to move. You know, you've been in a, you've been in a tranquil state of sleep, and then you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm starting to stretch, yeah, and it moves the gas bubble.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I wouldn't necessarily say it's your body has been timed into it. I'd say it's more to do with the fact that you set your alarm for half six in the morning. Your alarm goes off and that triggers the body to move. Yeah, so I would say now, again, this is where we can, this is where we can throw it open to our lovely listeners. There is probably some biological explanation to why men and I'm assuming, women do, maybe they just don't do it with such gusto. You know, you're, you're probably like a jet engine rolling over and is, you know, real good starter, whereas women are probably more like and you know, because that's, you know, that's, that's what. That's what women do, apparently. But I'm sure one of our wonderful listeners can comment on the biological reasons.
Speaker 1:There's some great science behind it, or anything like that as well.
Speaker 2:But I imagine it's just because of the sedentary nature of sleep. You just lie there.
Speaker 3:The body still produces the gas, and then when?
Speaker 2:you wake up in the morning, take a deep breath.
Speaker 1:And your bowel thought moves the alarms triggering the stratopharm, as opposed to I would say so.
Speaker 2:I mean your circadian rhythm may be that in tune that you have just trained your flatulence to erupt at a certain time, but I think that's unlikely. But again, I'm not a scientist, I am not.
Speaker 3:I'm neither a fart expert nor a scientist you may fart more in the morning due to several reasons relaxation of the anal sphincter. During sleep, the anal sphincter relaxes, making it easier for gas to escape when you wake up. Digestive processes your body continues to digest food overnight, which can lead to gas build-up that is released in the morning. Dietary factors, foods consumed the previous day, especially those high in fiber, or certain carbohydrates, can contribute to increased gas production. If excessive gas is a concern, consider evaluating your diet and consulting a healthcare professional for personalised advice.
Speaker 2:The phenomenon of the start of art. Yes, you're not alone, Williams, you're not alone. We're here to support you. I know I am at the moment, but yeah, no, no, no, I admit in the mornings will generally do a yeah, I will pass wind, yeah, and.
Speaker 1:I told you I'd lower the tone.
Speaker 2:You did lower the tone, whoa, but I enjoy doing things I haven't done before. You know, you think you've got to try these things, so you never know when you're going to stumble upon something that's brilliant. So recently.
Speaker 1:You don't need to show yours and your lovely wife's person. I've heard no, no, no, you don't need to go there.
Speaker 2:Nobody needs to know about any of that. Thank you very much. But recently I had my first experience of live snooker. The Northern Irish Open happened recently at the waterfront hall in belfast and the tickets were pretty cheap and for a couple years I've been quite fancy doing that. So this year I I put my hand in my pocket we I trundled along to the waterfront hall to see what live sneak was all about. So now I I would admit I am a fan of snooker, but it's one of those sports where or games, however you, wherever you sit on the fence, I I enjoy watching it because I can then fall asleep to it. It's one of those ones I'm like oh yeah, sunday afternoon I'm gonna sit, I'm gonna watch a couple, I'm gonna watch like six hours of snooker and I'll probably only actually watch 10 minutes of it because I'll either be on my phone doing something nonsensical or I'll fall asleep to it.
Speaker 1:But I've always enjoyed watching it as I say, because, like with golf, I like golf, but watching it I find it quite relaxing. So I imagine snook is quite a relaxing sport or game to watch it is.
Speaker 2:So I wasn't really sure what to expect going to watch it live, because obviously now I've got a big thing for hazel Irvine. So it's the BBC speaker presenter. I think she shits all over Gabby Logan, not literally, I just think she's a much better female sports presenter.
Speaker 1:Gabby Logan, if you're listening, you want to become a guest speaker on our podcast.
Speaker 2:No, she's not welcome Williams. To be honest, she's not welcome. I don't like her at all. Her and Matt Hancock can go in the jungle together. Sorry, gabby, hazel, irvine, all day, every day, come and talk to us her please, please write into first.
Speaker 2:look gnomes at outlookcom you have, you have, you have fans, but you know you watch that and there's a bit of better presenting. So I thought, if I can't watch the snooker live, what happens? How does this all work? So it was interesting, but I'll just, I'll just get to the conclusion because I won't bore you with it all. It's a bit shit live.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I I went and I sat there and I there was three tables on and I was like you know, I wasn't very close. So first of all, I got there an hour late because I was an idiot, because I was. I looked on a website you know what, what sports matches are on, to try and see who was playing. I was like what sports are on at what times? And it was like snookercom or something and they were obviously in a different time zone and I worked it out wrong. I was like, oh yeah, I'll get there for 8 o'clock or like quarter to 8. All the matches that start at 7.
Speaker 2:So I had to sneak in very quietly, get myself a seat and I sat there and I was like, okay, so what happens now? Everyone just sits there in complete silence. You just hear a couple of people chuntering away. You, you've got three tables to kind of watch. So I kind of don't know where to look. I'm like, which one should I watch? Okay, go for the middle one, go for the middle one, watch that.
Speaker 2:But you're so far away and there's no commentary. Like it's a lot different when you watch on the tv and they kind of say, you know the draw on the tv screen and the draw around the ball, and they're like, oh yeah, say what he's going to do, he's going to go for this ball, it's going to spin back, and you're like no, he's not. And then when they do it you're all impressed like holy crap, how did john virgo know that? That's exactly what he's going to do? And they draw the little. They draw the little, they draw the circle where they think the white ball needs to go and the white ball goes in there. And that's brilliant. When you're there there's no one drawing on the tables or the TVs. Williams.
Speaker 2:No, no, you kind of you don't know what the snooker player is thinking, because you just they're going oh he's going to. He's going to try and put a ball oh, he's part of the ball. Yeah, or occasionally I'll miss a ball and I go, but it's. I was just like I'd rather watch this on the telly.
Speaker 1:This is a bit crap I uh, I had a first look at any players that you wanted to like see in the flesh.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I saw. Who did I say? Now, I saw the jester from leicester. We saw yeah, I'm trying to think of his name. I can remember he's like the world number two Flip me. I saw Mark Allen, who eventually went on to win the competition. Mark Selby, that's the jester from Leicester. I beg your pardon. See, that's how impressive it was, williams, there was three tables and I can remember Mark Allen. I can remember Mark Selby. Sean Murphy no, that wasn't Sean Murphy. No, that wasn't Sean Murphy, it was another guy. Anyway, I'm boring myself talking about it. This is a public service announcement. If you're into snooker, just keep watching it on the telly. Don't go and watch it live. There's not much to do. It's good advice. The people who were there, who were like in a group and stuff, were getting leathered and drinking lots of beer, but again, it wasn't boisterous.
Speaker 2:You're watching okay so this is along the line of the blue buttocks that we looked at last time. Cornish knockers, cornish knockers. Yes, I just think. Yeah, cornish knockers. That's not quite what I expected, williams. I don't know what you expected, craig. I was expecting a pair of bounty bosoms. These are actual little creature things yes, please, yes, please explain.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, cornish knockers, I mean, I'll let you read the little blurb on that picture at some point, if you can see it or not.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter if not, we can read it out for the listeners.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you can see it, yeah, why not?
Speaker 2:Okay. Do I need to do it in my Norfolk Cornish accent? No, probably not.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'll just speak normally.
Speaker 2:Cornish knockers, small, thin limbed creatures with large, hooked noses. They knock with their hammers to indicate a vein of ore, so gaining their name. Although friendly to the miners, unlike the German kobolds, they need to be treated with respect. Whistling and swearing often offends them. We're screwed then. And what's that say?
Speaker 2:and it's not in a very as a graphic designer, I must say this font is just atrocious it's quite difficult to read, offends them, and food or tallow must be left for them or they will become angry. They also dislike the sign of the cross, and so the miners must avoid marking anything with one for fear of annoying the little people. The knockers are close cousins to the welsh knockers are close cousins to the welsh coplanu yeah, I don't know, I don't know who also inhabit mines. They can still be found in some of the abandoned tin mines waiting for the for the shafts to be reopened. Well hey, there are many tales of these little people in cornwall.
Speaker 2:One of the more well-known tales of dangers of annoying the knockers, a, a miner called Tom Trevor refused to share his pasty with the knockers. What a son of a. He didn't share his pasty. No, he didn't share his pasty. No, what a bastard With the knockers. One lunchtime the next day, a rock fall nearly killed him. Only his tools were crushed by the rocks. The miner suffered from continuous bad luck after that, until he was forced to leave the mine for his own safety. That's from Fairies of Folklore of the British Isles, available from Amazon or A World of Magic, myth and Legend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Cornish knockers are quite a well-known myth and legend down my way down in Cornwall, actually related to the gnomes. Actually they're in the gnome family, related to Piskies, gnomes, elves. In the gnome family, related to pisces, gnomes, elves, all that sort of groups I thought appropriate appropriate to bring up in the first little names podcast.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're good you're as far as I was, where the knockers cornish knockers were. They lived the mines and I thought they sort of they used to sort of knock down the tunnels and the miners would go down looking what was going on, leave their pasties behind. Cornish knockers would come along and steal the pasties. That was the legend. I was brought up with Tin mining, so tin mining started in Cornwall around 4,000 years ago. Unbelievable Traded tin. So us Cornish, we traded tin with the Romans 4,000 years ago. 4,000 years ago Unbelievable Traded tin. So us Cornish, we traded tin with the Romans 4,000 years ago.
Speaker 1:4,000 years ago. So us Cornish were trading tin with the Romans. That's mad, isn't it? Yes, and that is why they call Cornwall Swiss cheese Down here.
Speaker 2:We just there's so many mines underground.
Speaker 1:We've got mines and all sorts underneath us that we're not even aware of. Do you suffer from earthquakes down there? Earthquakes there have been earthquakes?
Speaker 2:yeah, Are there kind of yeah, we do and we get. Collapses and sinkholes and stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, well, actually my shop is right next to a mineshaft. Hmm, so if one day the podcast gets cut short, william, no, hmm, so one day the podcast gets cut short? But uh, I remember as a, as a child, my grand tell me a story of someone in the village that was. She was literally outside hanging a washing up on the line. Gone, mine chat open, gone. So yeah, it's a crazy world down here. But, um, so, all the houses and when you buy houses, when you get a mortgage, you have to make sure you get like a mine shaft survey done and all that sorts of stuff. That's crazy. Yeah, what sort of stuff.
Speaker 1:We've got so, so much human activity. The mines gave a rise to these tales of miniature figures underground passing on warnings or causing harm, also known as the knacker or the booker apparently Booker, the booker, which is Welsh or the Tommy knocker. So that's where our audience in the States, the Tommy knockers, tommy knockers, the knockers, derive from similar origins as the leprechauns and brownies. Legends claim they're only two foot tall and live underground. In other legends, the knocking acts as a warning of an impending cave-in.
Speaker 1:That's quite helpful the spirits might like practical jokes, but they took the safety of the miners very seriously. These knockers.
Speaker 2:Well, they obviously don't seem all bad then.
Speaker 1:No, no I think they're quite good. Miners also took care to leave part of their dinner usually a Cornish pasty, for the knockers.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to lie, williams. It's a strange place, cornish.
Speaker 1:People chant at the Gnome President's Rally.
Speaker 2:Was that? What do people chant at the Gnome President's Rally? Yes, I don't know what do people chant? What the gnomes chant at the gnomes president's rally or go gnome go big or go gnome sound effects needed sound effects needed you can get this one. You can get this one have you got a tumbleweed sound?
Speaker 1:you'll know this one great. What is a gnome's favorite shakespeare play?
Speaker 2:nomio and juliet.
Speaker 1:Yes, very nice, very nice what did the adult human say? So with this one I think you will need to do the accent, okay, I can't. I can't do it. And the impression. What did the adult human say to his friend when he introduced him to his pal gnome? I don't know what to say. Say hello to my little friend. Oh my goodness, why are gnomes great at acting? I, I, I have no idea there is gnome business like show business oh my god, please, wellies, make it stop.
Speaker 1:These are awful one more, one more, then one more. Why are so many gnomes happy, regardless of today's news?
Speaker 2:I don't know why are so many gnomes happy, regardless of today's news?
Speaker 1:gnome news is good news.
Speaker 3:Thank you for delving into the archives to feature on a future episode. Please write in to firstlooknomes at outlookcom. Don't forget to like, review, follow and subscribe to help grow the show.
