First Look Gnomes
Two Dads doing Silly Things.
About First Look Gnomes
Welcome to First Look Gnomes – your all-access pass to quirky insights, unexpected discoverables, and offbeat humour that makes learning fun. Hosted by "Walliams" (broadcasting from the bottom of his garden in Cornwall, England) and Mr Hodgkiss (sharing stories straight from his Garden in Belfast, Northern Ireland), this podcast blends random yet fascinating trivia with genuine, heart-warming dad-jokes and thought-provoking conversation.
Twice a month, these two dads dive into topics that range from historical oddities and bizarre cultural titbits to contemporary curiosities and everyday marvels.
Whether you’re seeking engaging entertainment, a fresh dose of unconventional education, or simply a friendly chat about life’s hidden wonders, First Look Gnomes is here to surprise, enlighten, and delight.
For listeners worldwide—(including those in Laos)—our show is designed to attract curious minds eager for unique, bite-sized revelations.
Tune in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major platforms, and join our community of inquisitive souls who celebrate learning with a laugh.
Remember: Good things come to gnomes who wait… and to those who subscribe, rate, and review!
First Look Gnomes
The One Where We Discover We're #6 in Laos (Yes, Really)
We celebrate our 10th episode of Season 3 with an unexpected discovery of our international popularity, ranking as the #6 comedy podcast in Laos. The episode features beer tasting, wrestling adventures, Formula One predictions, and the return of the Gno-it-all Gnome.
• Thirsty First: Sampling "Naughty and Nice" Chocolate Stout from Vocation Breweries, scoring a solid 9/10
• Feedback reveals listeners in surprising locations including Valencia, Hanoi, Taipei, and Bratislava
• Craig shares taking his son to his first WWE live event, describing it as "pure pantomime" with great entertainment value
• Detailed Formula One 2025 season predictions, listing all 20 drivers with McLaren tipped for success
• The Gno-it-all Gnome answers a listener question about dealing with a partner who hoards possessions
• Discussion about potentially refreshing some podcast segments for future episodes....
- A Bonus First Book Look;
The Curator: The new must-read thriller from the winner of the CWA Best Crime Novel of 2019 (Washington Poe)
Please write to us at firstlookgnomes@outlook.com with your feedback and your own first looks.
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Help grow the show !
Welcome to First Look Gnomes your go-to podcast for dads doing silly things.
Speaker 1:Join us as we dive into the whimsical world of the know-it-all gnome.
Speaker 2:Share tips for dads explore thirsty firsts and, of course, the dad jokes and the bad jokes.
Speaker 1:But, most importantly, we're here to share our first looks.
Speaker 2:Don't forget to send in your feedback to our fish bond of feedback our first looks.
Speaker 1:Don't forget to send in your feedback to our fish bond of feedback and share your thoughts, questions and own first looks with us. At first look gnomes at outlookcom episodes turn over, turn over.
Speaker 2:We're meant to pod together. I'll be there. The episode is near and that's the deal, archers, dear. Lucky that my lips are only mumble. They spill kisses like a mountain. Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains. Turn over, turn over. We're meant to part together. I'll be there, you'll be there. Episode 10, by Dean Yay, episode 10 by Dean. Oh dear me. 10 ever, 10 ever. We'll be together.
Speaker 1:Idiot. Before we started recording that I tried to guess. He told us in the last episode how he gets to his songs and I was like okay, so he Googles a number, then he Googles songs, et cetera. And we're like what could it be? What could it be? No, in a million years, I would never have come to the conclusion that you were going to mix Shakira with episode 10. But you know what?
Speaker 2:The world is a better place that you did bravo, thank you welcome back for another exciting episode, episode 10 of season three season three.
Speaker 1:We're still going we're still going. We're still going must be things that there must be better, things that you, me, our listeners could all be doing with this time.
Speaker 2:Must be, must be. I know one thing that I should be doing, and it won't go away, misashkis, it won't go away, it's the firsty first.
Speaker 1:Oh, the firsty first. Now in the last episode listeners, you'll remember Cornish.
Speaker 2:Dan could not open his beer. I hope it's not a fizzy one. I hope it's not a fizzy one.
Speaker 1:He's now knocking the beers over.
Speaker 2:I hope it's not a fizzy one, because that just fell down. I hope I don't need to stab it with a with a pen.
Speaker 1:Let's see what have we got. What have we got?
Speaker 2:oh, vocation breweries, let's see what have we got. Oh, vocation breweries, I've had some vocation breweries before.
Speaker 1:You should quite like this A chocolate stout. See now, sweet temptation. I'm going to cut through myself.
Speaker 2:Naughty and nice Chocolate stout, 6.6% alcohol. It's a nice brown can with some artwork of lips biting lips. Um, that's good, bold and beautiful beer for the many smooth, caramel, sweet chocolatey I'm gonna contradict myself.
Speaker 1:Last in the last episode, I said I don't read like sweetness and beer. But when it comes to coffee and chocolate and vanilla and stout and caramel and stout, that does go well together I'm having a start already, so it's not like I'm I'm expecting big things here.
Speaker 2:I'm expecting this to be a good nine, yeah, I am, it's a classic classic velvety chocolate stout meets luscious caramel in a harmonious swirl of sweetness. Oh lovely, that oozes decadence. A rich roasted malt base layered with sweet sticky caramel and silky chocolate a sweet temptation that is impossible to resist.
Speaker 1:Well, get it open if you can, and enjoy it Please, pour carefully. Open carefully, Walliams, Good sound Well it needs to be for a while. He's made it past the opening, which is better than last time.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's. It's thick like treacle, a lot thicker than the last one. Black as tar. That is Black as tar. It makes you wonder if it's good to put in your body, doesn't it really?
Speaker 1:Probably not. Cheers, cheers, wals, cheers, enjoy.
Speaker 2:To episode 10.
Speaker 1:I bet it smells delicious. Oh, he likes that one. I said I was expecting big things.
Speaker 2:Lovely, oh, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1:Question, though, better than the marshmallow one, ooh, yes.
Speaker 3:This is thicker.
Speaker 2:This is thicker than the marshmallow one. The marshmallow one was like a thinner, it was a stout, but it was more watered down, whereas this is more like treacle. It's a nice thick stout.
Speaker 1:Lovely, so answer me this. The last one was 8.7 out of 10.
Speaker 2:This is 8.9.
Speaker 1:That's not that much better 9 it's got to be at least a 9 it's a 9, very good 9 very good.
Speaker 2:Please refer to our website for a full list of our first to first recommendations yeah, so stop you there.
Speaker 1:The website is still not finished, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I've been building other people's websites that is awkward but they pay me if you want to see a website. If you want to see a website listeners, please share.
Speaker 1:Review five star just sponsor us, just give us some money or to sponsor us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just throw some cash at us, we'll build a website we've got our beer, I've got my beer, you've got your rum.
Speaker 1:I think we start to kiss well, I've gone off the rum and I'm now on the guinness zero. I'm on the alcohol. There we go yeah.
Speaker 2:So let's uh, let's take our Guinness zero. Let's take our naughty and nice chocolate stout. Okay, to the fish pond of feedback Whilst I spit everywhere.
Speaker 1:Sorry, fish pond of feedback, the fish pond of feedback, fish pond of feedback when you had a beer saying fish pond of feedback.
Speaker 2:Fish pond of feedback when you had a beer saying fish pond of feedback is quite a.
Speaker 1:Well, it is for you, Hmm.
Speaker 2:Miss Hodgekiss, we are going to need a bigger boat.
Speaker 1:Oh dear.
Speaker 2:We're going to need a bigger boat. The fish pond is massive. I've got lots of feedback this is massive this week, so keep your rod away, I think. I think we'll just check the bow out okay so, first off, our friends, we've got our first first look been sent in, um, so probably best I'll share this to you on your whatsapp, shall we, let's?
Speaker 1:share. Yeah, let me get my phone.
Speaker 2:Let me get my phone so our friends at good friends at mini mess makers have sent in a first look. Um so, their first look. I just sent you a picture, I believe. Have I? I haven't. Yes, I have.
Speaker 1:It's not come through yet.
Speaker 2:I've just sent you. Oh here we go. Yeah, so they've had a first look, and their first look is a book. Oh, and that's come through. So it's a book called the Curator by MW Craven. By M W Craven, and perhaps you can read out a first page of the book. Perhaps it's Josh's.
Speaker 1:I don't have the book Walliams. What do you mean? You don't have the book the curator? How can I read the first page of it?
Speaker 2:Oh, sorry, I've just sent you a page of it. There you go.
Speaker 1:Oh, here we go, there you go. You've got to click, you've got, ladies and gentlemen, two old men. We sometimes forget to click send because we've drank too much bloody vanilla custard stout.
Speaker 2:Sorry, so Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve Start at the top.
Speaker 1:Okay, excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 2:So just to reiterate this is the curator by mw craven, shared with us by leanne from mini mess makers. First, it knows, now do audible books okay chapter one christmas eve.
Speaker 1:It was the night before christmas and all wasn't well. It has started like it always did someone asking are we doing Secret Santa this year and someone else replying I hope not, both making a pact to avoid mentioning it To the office manager, both secretly planning to mention it as soon as possible.
Speaker 2:You've got a good voice for Audible, we should do this. Oh, there we go, then Carry on.
Speaker 1:And before anyone could protest, the decision had been made and the office was doing it again, the 15th year in a row. Same rules as last year's Five quid limit anonymous gifts, nothing rude or offensive, gifts that no one wanted. A total waste of everyone's time. At least, that's what Craig Hodgkiss thought Brilliant. You're in a book. What the heck. You're in a book.
Speaker 3:That's unbelievable.
Speaker 1:How amazing is that. That is amazing.
Speaker 3:I have never met anybody.
Speaker 1:I've never read my surname. Still get what's that surname? What's that surname? So to find not only my surname but also my actual first name and I love Secret Santa. So it's not. It's definitely not me. And that Craig Hodgkins thought he hated Secret Santa. I love Secret Santa. Well, that's. That's trying to clarify this is not you it's not really me, it's just somebody who shares my name. Um, that's awesome, though, leah what a find how amazing is that?
Speaker 2:and he was he?
Speaker 1:was I thinking we were just being very cultured and doing a book review? Yeah it's a book review with the name of one of our podcasts Amazing.
Speaker 2:I asked her what was happening. What is this? And her description of the book was he got her sexy knickers for Christmas, but she was happily married. Her husband threatened him and he wet himself.
Speaker 1:Just to clarify. I don't think I've ever bought Leanne sexy knickers for Christmas, and if her husband was to threaten me I would wet myself. So you know it's half true, it's half there.
Speaker 2:Oh dear, but yeah, that brought me a lot of joy. That did so, thank you. Thank you, very right. Another listener wrote in and said um, I can't remember which episode this is referring to, but the spider chat had me crying with laughter while walking down the road with a sleeping baby. That's referring to, uh, the lemon tree episode, I presume.
Speaker 1:Ah, yes.
Speaker 2:New listeners. Shout out to some new listeners. I'll go through them quickly because there's quite a few of them actually. We've got new listeners from Leeds, islington, valencia, hanoi.
Speaker 1:Vientiane.
Speaker 2:Taipei, pleiku, gule Province, sydney, new South Wales, chilliwack, british Columbia, dawnburn Say that again. Sorry, dawnburn In Vornalburg, don't burn. Say that again, sorry, don't burn.
Speaker 1:In.
Speaker 2:Warnalburg Battle Jaws.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Paris, we Paris in the France.
Speaker 1:Ah, oui, oui, Riga, riga, my goodness Riga.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Ho Chi Minh City.
Speaker 1:Ray.
Speaker 2:Bratislava.
Speaker 1:Ray.
Speaker 2:And Kofu.
Speaker 1:Ray, that's a good list of new listeners.
Speaker 2:It blows my mind.
Speaker 1:Mine too.
Speaker 2:I've got another email. I've got an email through to the Fishbowl feedback. You got mail. I've recently started walking to work a couple of times a week and you guys are keeping me entertained on the way. Just wanted to point out that not only is thirsty first still a feature of your podcast, it seems to be the longest section, or certainly feels that way. How one person can pour a beer and talk about it for so long, I will never know. It's a skill. Positive feedback. So that implies that the first bit is negative feedback.
Speaker 1:I mean, we have contemplated a few of our features and thought should we drop them? Thirsty, thirsts, first Look Gnome, not First Look Gnome.
Speaker 2:Wise Old Gnome, there's a few features Should be decided.
Speaker 1:Yes, you may need to replace them If the feedback comes in that we want to get rid of the no or no and the thirsty thirst season four may sound slightly different. For the better, for the better probably anyways, uh, positive feedback.
Speaker 2:The opening song I ate you right now was legendary, and I trottered my way out of my front door. Keep doing what you're doing, gents.
Speaker 1:It was excellent.
Speaker 2:Big news Michalichkis. Big news in the fish pond. Hold on to the side of your boat. Hold on, the waves are going to get choppy.
Speaker 1:Okay, someone's not liking what we do.
Speaker 2:This isn't an email. This is Apple Podcasts themselves. Your podcast, First Look Gnomes, has good performance in Apple Podcast rankings. The last 30 days Position six in the category comedy.
Speaker 1:30 days position six in the category comedy very good number six in comedy podcast fact fact. Oh sorry, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 2:I forgot some important information there, sorry okay, sorry, in Leo, the people's democratic republic. So, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, I forgot some important information there. Sorry, okay, sorry, in Laos, the People's Democratic Republic. So, and where's that then? I thought my geography was pretty good, but it's also known as I was, like I don't know what that is. It's also known as Laos, which is a country between Vietnam, cambodia you mean Laos and Thailand. Laos, which is a country between Vietnam. Cambodia, you mean Laos and Thailand. Laos, right? Yes?
Speaker 1:Yeah, laos, laos.
Speaker 2:Brilliant, sorry, I just offended our most popular country, but yeah, we're number six in Laos, amazing. In Laos People's Democratic Republic we're 124 in all podcasts. That's unbelievable. I don't know.
Speaker 1:But well, we said, didn't we? We talked about this in episode eight, when we said, uh, we're gonna be like 911, not necessarily massive in the united kingdom, but in asia, that they might just be like. This is a. This is great content when you're into asia.
Speaker 2:That's quite a big area, um if you condense it to a small period of time in lao, lao and we're also in vietnam.
Speaker 1:Remember now yes so you know it's, it's just a matter of time before we're in.
Speaker 2:We're not number six in Vietnam, though.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine if we break China? I mean, that's a big market, Wes.
Speaker 2:That is a big market.
Speaker 1:That's a big market.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I don't think we'll do it. So that's yeah. That was a hefty fishpond of feedback, I think longer than the 31st Tams, oh dear Tams.
Speaker 1:So, oh dear, very good, very good.
Speaker 2:First look, Mr Oshkiss.
Speaker 1:Okay, I have one big one and then, if we have time, I have a little one. So again, if anyone who listened to last week's podcast episode 9, we realised that I am so rock and roll it hurts. I mean some some of the stuff I get up to these days and I've done something else insanely cool and badass, uh, and I mean it's no surprise well, I'm knowing the kind of mad I am but this week we went to Are you ready for this?
Speaker 2:I don't know if I am.
Speaker 1:I took Brayden to his first WWE live event. What do you mean? I took Brayden to see the WWE wrestling In America. No, over here. They came to Belfast, did they? We had WWE live on the road to wrestlemania tour so we saw such superstars as cm punk and the ring general gunther main event jay usoso, cody Rhodes vs Solo Secoa in a steel cage match.
Speaker 2:I know that one, Cody Rhodes.
Speaker 1:Finn Balor, sheamus Charlotte Flair and lots of other ones. So yes, last weekend we went to see the WWE Road to WrestleMania tour at the SSsc arena in belfast 11 000 people all cheering for men in pants um it was. It was a lot of fun and women in pants.
Speaker 1:People and women there were, there were women in pants as well, there were um, and it was a lot of fun. So I have been a wrestling fan since I was a weak kid and it was good to take brain to see an event. So I've taken, I think.
Speaker 1:I may have talked about this on a podcast before. But I've taken brain to some of the local wrestling events here, like there's a, there's a company called Titanic wrestling and this was the first time we'd been to see the big boys, the WWE, and he's not massively into it. So I was like, well, do you want to go? Because I've got a couple of friends who are going. So I was like I could go with the blokes and pretend to be 12. But I was like, no, no, I want to take Brain. So I said I'll go with Brain and see what he thinks of it and if he hates it, I'm not going to be like can you wish lots of wrestling? But he loved it, he did.
Speaker 1:He had a really good time and he enjoyed it and he got himself some merch. He was more excited about the merch than anything else. He got himself a belt and he was all happy. He was very disappointed because John Cena wasn't there. He wanted to see John Cena and John Cena was in Glasgow on a Monday but he wasn't in Belfast on the Saturday. So we were like, boom, was he meant to be? No, no, he wasn't scheduled. They tell you who's scheduled to come. So when they sell the tickets they say we guarantee you're going to see these people.
Speaker 2:But sometimes you have a little surprise.
Speaker 1:And sometimes you have a little surprise. We were hoping, because John Cena was over in Glasgow on the Monday, we thought would he come a generate a massive pop from the fans, but he didn't. But uh, cody roads was fantastic and the whole show was really good. So I think in the last podcast I talked about going to see snow patrol and I was a bit disappointed because they only played for like an hour and 10 hour and 20 minutes. The wrestling though they were on for like three hours. It was match after match after match and it was just like a really good then.
Speaker 1:It felt like good value yeah.
Speaker 1:It felt like a proper good night out and a lot of people aren't interested. But again, it's pure pantomime, like Brayden has. No doubt it's fake, like we say, no, no, this is yeah. I've talked to Brayden a lot because he has Brayden. We've talked about my son a bit. He likes to bounce, he likes to swing, he likes to be thrown around, so but he, because he's a boy, he doesn't really want to do gymnastics. He's like oh yeah, I'm doing gymnastics, dad, it's for girls. So I keep trying to say to him look, the wrestlers are just gymnasts. Like they're in really good shape, they're bouncing around, they're doing some assaults. I said they're just gymnasts who are also like acting and he loves drama. He loves, he loves to pretend to be someone else. So like, imagine, if you do gymnastics and drama, you're effectively just a wrestler. And I think hopefully that can get him into that kind of stereotype I don't want to do and we found a company in belfast who do gymnastics, but they do a boys only class as well.
Speaker 1:So I'm like I think he would really enjoy doing that doing the tumbling and, you know, springing around. So, yeah, we went to see the WWE and I'm trying to use it as a catalyst to try and get Brian to do some gymnastics. So we will see what happens. Good show, wwe. Good show.
Speaker 2:Who won?
Speaker 1:Yeah, cody Rhodes beat Salah Sikara in the Cade match and Gunther versus CM Punk ended up in a double countout. So nobody won that one, and it was just good fun.
Speaker 2:Was the merchandise as expensive as the Disney episode?
Speaker 1:Ridiculous, Absolutely ridiculous. The merch was stupidly priced, but you know you can't take your kid to the wrestling and not get him a belt, can you?
Speaker 4:No, nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's sitting proudly on his bedside table at the minute. Let's have a look at your first look, wes.
Speaker 2:So my first look is probably geekier than yours, Miss Hodgkiss.
Speaker 1:That's going to be hard to beat when you talk about wrestling.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't know about that, I don't know about that. So we've had a first look and I know it's not your favourite topic, but I've grown into it over the last few years, especially since I met the wifey wife, and I've got a first look at the new Formula One season.
Speaker 1:Oh, hey.
Speaker 2:Early days, it's possibly going to be the most exciting. See, there's not like a, there's not an outright winner. So the last few years, max Verstappen, then there was a bit of a Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton, but before that it was Lewis Hamilton just Lewis. Hamilton, wasn't it, whereas this year, arguably, it could be between two, but I don't think. I think it's between four or five drivers this season. Okay, um, I've done a little. I've done a little prediction to bore everyone of where I think everyone's gonna well before you do that one.
Speaker 1:So like you were never like, how have you got into formula one?
Speaker 4:because like no, I've kind of uh, I've kind of been informed, so I used to enjoy it back in the day with um eddie irvine irvine was born in 1965 in newton arts, county down in northern Northern Ireland, who competed under the British flag in Formula One from 1993 to 2002. Irvine was runner-up in the Formula One World Drivers' Championship in 1999 with Ferrari and won four Grand Prix across ten seasons. His most successful season was in 1999, when he took four victories and finished second in the World Championship, two points behind driver Mika Hekkinen. He moved to Jaguar Racing in 2000, scoring the team's first podium in 2001 and his final podium in 2002.
Speaker 2:Bit of a maverick sort of mystical British Jaguar.
Speaker 1:Racing group like myself very similar.
Speaker 2:My, like yourself, british Jaguar racing group. Like myself, very similar. My team, apart from Jaguar, was Williams, hey, williams Racing. Oh, that's my name, damon Hill, damon Hill. So you know, family business, that's my racing team. But then, yeah, I kind of lost it because you know, shumaka, shumaka, shumaka one, shumaka one yeah yeah, and then met the but the lovely wife.
Speaker 2:Wife, she enjoyed formula one, um, so sort of started watching it again and, um, but actually started watching, not just the person in front, so actually learning more about the, the battles in the midfield, and, yeah, williams were falling back and actually for a period they were way back. Um, you'd have you, you'd have your sort of, you know, your Red Bull, ferrari, mclaren. And then, 20 seconds later, oh, Williams they got quite bad, but yeah.
Speaker 2:So I started watching the battles in the midfield and it gets a lot more exciting when you're actually watching the separate little battles rather than watching who's in the lead oh Schumacher still in front, oh hamilton's still in front, oh verstappen is still in front and actually watching the battles, yeah, um. And luckily I got back into it in a way just before the netflix series kicked off, because there's very much oh, you're a netflix supporter, because a lot of people got into it since netflix, um, but I was, I'm kind of before netflix, um, but that's sort of kicked it off. Um, and then also um, good old, uh, you know football, your fantasy fantasy teams set up a little Formula 1 fantasy team with sort of the wife and the stepdad and that makes it quite exciting, sort of cheering on your particular drivers. So, yeah, new season. Would you like to hear my little predictions for the?
Speaker 2:year, absolutely, I mean there won't be any more predictions.
Speaker 4:What's your?
Speaker 1:predictions speed, speed. I predict speed and victories I predict lots and lots of victories for, for the people who drive the cars. Very Walliams.
Speaker 2:Very good, very good.
Speaker 1:Tell me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:So my predictions, my predictions so you've got 20 drivers. So my prediction is in 21st place is going to be Gabrielle Bortoletto.
Speaker 1:You're not going to go all the way from 21 to 1, are you?
Speaker 2:Yes, I am.
Speaker 1:Oh, Walliams, this will be longer than the firsty firsts. You're not really going to do 21 to 1.
Speaker 2:I am 20, jack Duhon, 19,. Isaac Hajar 18 is going to be Franco Colapinto, who's not actually driving yet, but he's going to be joining the season.
Speaker 1:Hang on. Before you continue, I'm going to ask the listeners how many laps of the Monaco Grand Prix do you think could be completed by the time Walliams gets from 21 to number one?
Speaker 3:Driving around the Monaco Grand Prix circuit in an F1 car typically takes just over a minute. During a race, lap times vary depending on the driver, car and track conditions. The three simple positions in Monaco have seen lap times around 1 minute 10 seconds to 1 minute 12 seconds during qualifying. The track is famously narrow and winding, making it one of the most challenging circuits in Formula 1.
Speaker 1:Challenging circuits in Formula 1.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say four 17, Pierre Gasly 16, Lance Stroll 15, Liam Lawson 14,. Fernando Alonso. What a legend Fernando Alonso is.
Speaker 1:He's older than us, fernando Alonso. He's still going, he's got to be like 60, hasn't?
Speaker 2:he 44, something like that. Bloody hell fair play, but he's still going. He just doesn't have the car. Nico Hulkenberg, esteban Ocon, oli Behrmann, carlos Sainz has joined Williams. He's going to be up there.
Speaker 1:I've got his hat.
Speaker 2:Have you? What do you mean? You've got his hat.
Speaker 1:I went to Barcelona.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? You've got his hat.
Speaker 1:I bought like a cap with his name on it.
Speaker 2:Oh right, I haven't actually got his hat.
Speaker 1:Not his actual hat. No.
Speaker 2:Right, I was going to say it was too hot.
Speaker 1:I needed a cap and I was like that's the cheapest one.
Speaker 2:I'll buy that one.
Speaker 1:I love cars mate.
Speaker 2:Ninth, alex Albon. Ninth, alex albon, williams. So for williams, this is really good. So for williams racing, oh so williams is still there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought like williams were like damon hillier, like in the 90s, mid 90s. They're back williams racing are back.
Speaker 2:So they've just signed carla signs. He came from ferrari um, which is a big surprise, because carla signs is, you know, he's a decent driver yeah, but he's, he's back um yuki sunoda. So he's quite famous for just shouting and swearing. He just, yeah, just shouts at his uh engineers and things on the team's radio. Yuki sunoda um japanese guy.
Speaker 1:He's uh controversial but he's uh, he's gonna be up there, charles it could be one of our podcast listeners, so be careful, he could be let's get him in.
Speaker 2:Let's get him in, let's try um, kimi antonetti, he's a new kid, 18 year old, just on mercedes. Uh, one of the future he is. Uh, george russell lewis hamilton. He's gonna be up there. Um, I was one of the future is George Russell Lewis Hamilton. He's gonna be up there.
Speaker 1:I was one of the rows me he is Ferrari now.
Speaker 2:I'm quite a fickle supporter Formula One. I was one of the. So when everyone was going cheering on Lewis Hamilton for the eighth championship, I was cheering on Max Verstappen okay, because I prefer an underdog, um. But now max is the champion for three seasons, four seasons, um. I'm now not that lewis hamilton's an underdog, but I like a story and I like, uh, someone that's over the age of 40 actually gonna win something. So, lewis hamilton, fern Alonso, they're my favourites at the moment Because they're the 40 plus squad. Landon Norris, I reckon, is going to be number two and I actually think Oscar Piastri, the young Australian, I reckon he's going to win it.
Speaker 1:Where do you put Max Verstappen? Third, Third gotcha. What happened the other day? Didn't somebody get dropped after like two races? They did so Red.
Speaker 2:Bull, which they won the championship Not last season but a few seasons before that, and Max Verstappen's obviously Red Bull and won basically every driver's season Since how much he used to win it. Their team, they're has had a what they call a cursed second driver seat, um, so basically anyone that drives with max verstappen. They don't look that good, so they get sacked. Um. But lawson, uh, bless him. He's only had two. Two races didn't do very well and they've just gone cut, no, no, cut throat, but they've got a junior Cutthroat no cutthroat, but they've got a junior team, so they're racing balls, okay.
Speaker 2:And they've promoted Yuki Tsunoda, shut up To the Red Bull team and hopefully he should have been in the Red Bull team before Lawson, but because he's a bit controversial and swears a lot and he's a bit, they've not put him in that team. But yeah, watch, watch this space so constructors.
Speaker 2:If anyone's not switched off yet for the constructors championship, my prediction is alpine last kick salvo. After that has has has have you bounce it, then racing balls, then aston martin, then williams in fifth, which is really really good, um, because usually last. Then Red Bull, then Mercedes, then Ferrari and then McLaren are going to win the double. You heard it here first.
Speaker 1:Heard it here first.
Speaker 2:There you go.
Speaker 1:Good insight, williams, and then a little prediction for 2026.
Speaker 2:I reckon Lewis Hamilton's going to win it and then he's going to retire with eight championships.
Speaker 1:Okay, I mean fair play to him. He's been doing for a long time to like because it I, I don't again, I don't like formula one, I do, um, but for those, for the job they have to do, like traveling around the world and stuff, and the the amount of pressure they have on them driving those cars at that speed week in, week out, like fair play to them.
Speaker 2:I forgot. Sorry, I just remembered before we move on to the next section, because I know we've got a special guest joining us. Yeah, we have got, you can now. So lots of our listeners they love the Nero name, do they? They do know or know him.
Speaker 1:Do they?
Speaker 2:They do, they'd love him, they can now contact him directly. Whenever they want, they can contact him. So, mr Hodgkiss, if you go to your Instagram, if you can, Down the bottom of the garden.
Speaker 1:Okay, hang on, it's let me in. I think.
Speaker 2:Okay okay, hang on it's let me in. I think, okay, wow, here I am so, listeners, you know, obviously, please write into first names and, you know, ask us questions. But if you want to talk to him directly, I've provided his direct, um, his direct number, and so if you want to speak to the no or name, you just go to instagram and then at the top of the profile, um, you should see, I think, a couple little stars with no or no at the bottom of the profile it's.
Speaker 1:It's taking me to a thing. Uh, no or no. Smarter than google, almost faster there you go.
Speaker 2:This is, yeah, so backtrack. So if you go to instagram, um, either click on the links there's a second link there or there should be a section that says no one. I mean you can now message and ask the no one I'm directly any questions that you like. Wow, isn't that nice.
Speaker 1:And he's sat there on his phone waiting to talk to you oh, but so if I so, here's where I can send him a message. Right, are you coming up to join the podcast?
Speaker 2:Bless him, he's a bit lonely these days.
Speaker 3:He's just sat on his phone.
Speaker 2:But he's sat there, so if you want to chat to him, send him a message.
Speaker 1:Okay. So it says are you coming up to join the podcast? It's your bit soon. It says indeed, I am Miss Hodgekiss. Just signal me from under the bin where I reside while I was that jokes have warmed up the audience nicely. My wisdom segment is next. Is it listeners letters today?
Speaker 2:yes, it is well, that's amazing so yes, you can talk to no one home directly he says delightful, I should dispense wisdom upon the troubles of.
Speaker 1:He says delightful, I shall dispense wisdom upon the troubles of Leanne from Weybridge, whose letter Mr Hodgkin's just read aloud. Shall I start with her dilemma immediately or introduce myself first. Just get up here. Just get up here. There we go.
Speaker 4:Hilarious, oh dear.
Speaker 1:Very good, Walliams Very good.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so you can can now talk to the one at home directly.
Speaker 1:Well, he's coming up, walliams, so if he's, coming up.
Speaker 2:do you want me to bugger off so he can take my seat? Sure, I mean, he's only little, but if he's really got one seat, I suppose.
Speaker 1:Well, it gives me an excuse to go and get another Guinness Zero, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. Well, I'll be back in a bit. He's coming now. He said he's coming up, so Okay, okay, hello.
Speaker 2:Hey, it's the no Hall Gnome.
Speaker 1:Hello Daniel.
Speaker 2:Hello, how are you doing? We were just telling the audience in a long-winded way that they can now contact you directly.
Speaker 1:Yes, the wonders of technology. It's great that they can reach out and talk to me at any time, and it helps me with my loneliness.
Speaker 2:Yes, how are you?
Speaker 1:I'm okay. I'm better now that I've got random people able to contact me. The amount of people looking for my wisdom is quite phenomenal. I thought we had a small audience, but apparently we have listeners out in Laos and we're quite popular there In Laos?
Speaker 2:yes, In.
Speaker 1:Laos. It's not called Laos, daniel, it's called Laos. I'm still not entirely sure where it is, but you should use your internet technology and do a Google map search. Maybe you'll learn something.
Speaker 2:I will. I will so. Have you had any letters or any emails we have? We have.
Speaker 1:So I'll jump straight in then, daniel. This week we've had a letter from Janet. Janet.
Speaker 2:Janet, I think she wrote you last time.
Speaker 1:It could well be the same lady.
Speaker 2:I'm not quite sure.
Speaker 1:Well, janet has written in and she's rather stressed out with her partner, matthew. Janet says we are now into spring and I've been watching Stacey Dooley source your life out. It has got me inspired to declutter our home and spring clean. However and this is where she gets a bit rude my partner is a bit of a pig and a terrible hoarder who won't throw anything out. He won't throw anything out.
Speaker 2:Literally know it or know hoarder.
Speaker 1:Hoarder. Sorry, hoarder, literally know it or no? Hoarder?
Speaker 2:Hoarder Sorry.
Speaker 1:Hoarder, literally know it or no. We've got mini discs, boxes of cables, books that have never been read and all kinds of old clobber that just needs thrown out. She says she's at her wits end and she asks know it or no? What would you do in this situation? What would you do in this situation? What would you do in this?
Speaker 2:situation.
Speaker 1:Well, janet, I see you've got yourself a good old-fashioned domestic standoff Clutter versus cleanliness, hoarding versus harmony and, from the sound of it, matthew's collection would give a charity shop a run for its money. I had a similar situation in the early 90s. As a young gnome. I'd amassed quite the magazine collection.
Speaker 2:A young gnome in the early 90s.
Speaker 1:I thought you would have been still quite old. Yes, I was near. I was at my peak and I'd amassed quite the magazine collection, over 350 copies of Between the Toadstools featuring lots of lovely lady gnomes in various stances of undress. Mrs Gnome said they had to go, but I found it very, very hard to throw them out. But I knew it had to be done for the purposes of domestic bliss.
Speaker 1:I tried all kinds of arguments about how they'd be worth good money in the future, but to no avail, and the mags had to go. So here's what I would do if I was you, janet. Firstly, remind him reasonably that you have to share the home If he is taking up much more of a story.
Speaker 2:Sorry.
Speaker 1:Did the first. You thirst, come up to say hello, ned, if he's taking up much more of the storage at the home than you, then it's time for him to ship some out before anything else comes in. If reason won't work, then you can try stealth, collect up the things you know he won't miss and put them in a box. Put the box in the loft or the garage and date it. If it gets out of the way, it gets it out of the way. But also if in three years' time the box has been left untouched, you can discard it without much worry. If that still doesn't work, you may need to write to the BBC and beg Stacey to come round for a proper intervention.
Speaker 1:From what I've seen of that show, it's a lot easier to shame someone into throwing out an old minidisc when they know the whole nation is watching them and harshly judging them. Ah, the joys of TV, the great equaliser. I wish you good luck in your quest, janet. And yes, dear listeners, I can't confirm what you're all thinking. I did sneakily keep one of the Between the Toadstool magazines, purely for nostalgic reasons.
Speaker 2:And that's all I have. What was the? What edition of the magazines did you have?
Speaker 1:It was just vintage, vintage.
Speaker 2:Vintage.
Speaker 1:I had a good collection. There was Plano between the toad stalls, razzle, oh dear. But Mrs.
Speaker 2:Gnome did not approve no, no, no, the wife wife and I, well, the wife wife herself, she, she likes a bit of Stacey Sullivan and actually we watched it together the other night, actually I wondered what you were going to say there, daniel. Do you like Between?
Speaker 1:the Toadstools Daniel.
Speaker 2:It's interesting actually how much I actually do the donate option as opposed to the sell option.
Speaker 1:You never answered my question, Daniel.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the toast still means.
Speaker 1:You can probably work it out oh no, you're a smart man.
Speaker 2:No, is it? Is that putting something where there's not mushroom? Oh dear, oh no, oh. Is it Putting something where there's not mushroom?
Speaker 1:Oh dear, no no, oh dear Please, I did warn you. I said it's maybe a bit close to the knuckle for a podcast, but you can clean it up, can't you?
Speaker 2:Is this Mr Todrick's back?
Speaker 1:Sorry, yes, yes, this is Mr Todrick's back.
Speaker 2:Where did he go? Has he just run off? Let him know, or no?
Speaker 1:He's run off with his dirty magazines.
Speaker 2:He's getting worse and worse, isn't he? I think so he's gone back to his phone to message back, so if you've got any questions, If you've got any questions. Message him or email him to firsts names outlook dot com. Oh dear oh dear he's gone. He's actually gone, so I've not he's away. He's gone, he's run away, so no, no follow-up questions there I do lots of follow-up questions.
Speaker 2:No, okay, probably for the best uh, apart from yeah, please write in to us at names at outlookcom. Do we um? Do we keep the? Do we keep the no or no? Do we keep the firsty firsts um? Do we keep the episodes?
Speaker 1:do we keep going what it was? Do we just end it now? Do we just end it now for everyone?
Speaker 2:out of their misery. Please write in if you're still listening. Shall we finish on a bad joke. Have you got anything more? Have you got another first look? Have you got?
Speaker 1:No, I think. Judging by the length of the recording here, I think we can end it there on a bad joke. That would be good.
Speaker 2:We'll end it on a bad joke. That would be good. We'll end it on a bad joke. A little update, Miss Nogicus. We're redoing our bathroom. Oh very nice, let's go for a certain theme. We've just bought an ABBA toilet. What a loo Abba Toilet.
Speaker 1:Waterloo. As soon as you said that, I was like I know what's coming here.
Speaker 2:See you next time. Listeners for episode 11.
Speaker 1:But will they Of season 3? No, they'll hear us we may well, yes, but we may also be cancelled. We may be cancelled by then as well.
Speaker 2:We may be cancelled. We may need a end of season review at some point. Yes to to refresh and we may need to change some of the features. Yes, although you never know, we may hate them, other people might love them are we having a good time? We're having a nice time.
Speaker 1:I'm starting to consider oh yeah, I'm having a good time with you. The note, or gnome, sometimes makes my toes curl a little bit.
Speaker 2:The note or gnome might need to be out to pasture.
Speaker 1:I think he might. I think he's just lost his way a little bit.
Speaker 2:Write in to save the no or no.
Speaker 1:I think some of his was yeah, we'll do a poll, we'll do a straw poll.
Speaker 2:We'll do a poll.
Speaker 1:Keep or do we put him in a home?
Speaker 2:We will do a poll.
Speaker 1:Do a poll.
Speaker 2:Find out in a couple weeks.
Speaker 1:Listeners well, he's not on the next episode which is good no, he's not scheduled to be on the next episode, so he's got. He's got a couple of weeks he's got to edit a while to get some poll answers in lovely and well, ems edit out the naughty bit so it's not too too uncomfortable for listeners, would you?
Speaker 2:or yourself, or myself. See you too uncomfortable for listeners would you, or yourself or myself, See you or hear you or listen to you in two weeks?
Speaker 1:Bye everybody, Bye everybody, Bye.
Speaker 2:Mmm, lovely, oh, beautiful, Beautiful.
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