First Look Gnomes
Two Dad's doing Silly Things.
Everyone wants to learn something new, but only some people want to sit down and read a bunch of nonsense - so why not listen to some instead? Chuck in some random facts and a couple of Dad jokes, and you'll be full of (potentially useless) knowledge in no time.
Whether all of it is true is part of the gnomery.
Join Cornishman "Walliams" in the shed at the bottom of his garden in Cornwall and Wulfrunian (a man from Wolverhampton apparently) "Mr Hodgkiss" from Belfast as they take a "first look" at the relatively unknown, learn some stuff and chat about life as Parents.
Dive into the First Look Gnome Universe every month and learn about random things you didn't even know you wanted to learn about! Fill some of your day with something interesting, engaging, and funny.
Welcome to the bottom of the garden.......'But what about the Gnomes?' I hear you cry!
Good things come to gnomes who wait. And ones that rate, review and subscribe :)
First Look Gnomes
First Looks at Disney on Ice & Thomas the Tank Engine
Walliams and Mr. Hodgkiss are here to give you some more first looks on their every other week podcast
Walliams takes the plunge with a robust 8.4% double IPA from North Brewery, while Mr. Hodgkiss opts for something less intoxicating.
We then whisk you away on a fantastic, ice-filled adventure to Disney on Ice in Belfast, where the magic of childhood classics gets a fresh spin. You’ll hear all about the antics and costs of enjoying a Disney spectacle with family, including the shock from a Maui hook that could rival a small fortune. As a bonus, we throw in a quick jab at "The Masked Singer," a show with a format so baffling it makes us nostalgic for simpler TV pleasures. It's family fun and puzzling TV in equal measure.
Finally, prepare for a trip back in time to the days of "Thomas the Tank Engine" and "Stars in Their Eyes." We chat about the timeless appeal of train tales and share Logan’s delight in receiving the original Thomas books for Christmas. In a twist of relationship humor, and an unexpected gift-giving dilemma.
Join us for a first look at
- The Masked Singer
- Disney on Ice
- Thomas & Friends
A thirsty thirst
NORTH BREWERY Ultra Phase
Fishpond of Feedback
The Gno it all gnome gives you his relationship advice (if you want it or not)
A surprise call in from a special guest?
And the usual Bad Jokes ....
Dont forget to write in to firstlookgnomes@outlook.com
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Grab a pint, pull up a toadstool and get ready to giggle and groan with your favourite gnome crew. Welcome to First Yook Gnomes, where the beers are stronger than your dad's handshake and the jokes are as bad as his puns. Your hosts Walliams and Mr Hodgkiss.
Speaker 2:Welcome back, episode six. Six bomb, six bomb. You're a six bomb. You can give it to me when I pot along. Six bomb, six bomb. You're my six bomb. Spotify, you can turn me on hey.
Speaker 3:I was not expecting that that might be your best one yet. Six bomb, six bomb. I'm going to be singing that later as I go to bed. Six bomb, six bomb. Oh, your wife is a lucky lady. A for effort, wiles. That was superb. Thank you, wiles. Welcome to episode six.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, I've actually run out of beer. Sorry listeners, we've actually run out of beer. Sorry listeners, we've not run out of beer. Starched a beer. I've had a beer. You've had a couple, I think. Spoiler alert we've just recorded episode five, so I've had a beer already. This is the same evening I'm going into the thirsty first fridge again.
Speaker 3:Go in there.
Speaker 2:Do-do-do do, do, do, Do, do, do, do, do do.
Speaker 3:This is just the making of this podcast is just really to help give validation to Dan trying lots and lots of beers.
Speaker 2:Basically, yeah. So the reason for the podcast started it's just for an excuse to make sure me and Mr Hodgkiss speak to each other at least once a month. But the hidden meaning was for me to make sure I drink new beers. And also, spoiler alert, I have been drinking already this evening and Mr Hodgkiss has not. Well, he has, but on the zero. So I do apologize if there's a difference in quality between um myself, mr hodgkiss this evening don't worry, williams.
Speaker 3:Last time we did this, uh, the episode that you recorded after having drinks didn't end up anywhere, so, um no, so maybe we may ever hear this anyway, so you wish.
Speaker 2:End of the day. We've had a good time, that's all that matters. We're enjoying ourselves well. I have anyway a lovely black camp north again, as, the same as last episode, this is a ultra phase, an 8.4% you're going stronger.
Speaker 3:That's a double IPA.
Speaker 2:isn't it a DIPA? On episode 5, we didn't know what double DH IPA was. Isn't it A DIPA? On episode five, we didn't know what a double DH IPA was. No, but a DIPA, I presume, is a double IPA, which is a luscious double IPA made with USA and Australian hops.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 2:Saturated in honeydew, melon, green grape and pink grapefruit, flamed with a lasting citrus finish. Mr Hodgkins, you're the sober one. Did I give the episode five first to first a score? You did not. No, I did not. I would give that a 8.5.
Speaker 3:Wow, that's a lot of fingers. It was a very good one.
Speaker 2:Once again, this is vegan.
Speaker 3:Lovely can good quality artwork. Um, I have some. Eat me as well. Oh, you know what double d is? I do, it's a double dry hopped ipa, a double dry hop. Dry hopping is the process of adding hops to beer after fermentation, typically to enhance aroma and flavour without adding bitterness. Oh well, apparently you should expect big, vibrant hop aromas Think citrus, tropical fruit, pine or flora.
Speaker 2:That was the previous episode.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so this one's a.
Speaker 2:DIPA. This is a double IPA, so that means I think I've got a feeling I might prefer a double D. Okay, you said that before Less of a Less of an impact on the smell.
Speaker 3:I can't believe you're going Like just again it's peaked behind the curtain. It's 20 past 11 on a Saturday night and you're going for an 8.4% beer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's fairly smooth for an 8.4%, but you can taste the alcohol more. It's a. I regret the decision 20 past 11, drinking an 8.4%.
Speaker 3:You'll sleep well tonight, George. You're going to hear lots of stories.
Speaker 2:The wifey wife is not going to appreciate this and she won't realise until the episode comes out.
Speaker 3:And you are an editor, so you can always edit it out. You can say, oh, the strength of this beer is. And then get the AI to say 2.6.
Speaker 2:It's a 2.6.
Speaker 3:It's a glass of water, so how many fingers are you giving this one? Seven, oh so still a good score then yeah, it's a no, sorry actually no hang on, hang on. He takes this very seriously.
Speaker 2:I do actually sorry back in. I mean you could drink those and you'd be on the floor after one. Stay tuned to see if Wally comes up. I mean you could drink those and you'd be on the floor after one.
Speaker 3:Stay tuned to see if Wally comes up on the floor and he'll probably try and play it. If you listen to episode five, he might even fall down the stairs.
Speaker 2:I wasn't drunk.
Speaker 3:You will be tonight.
Speaker 2:I'm only going to give it a seven because, compared to the other beers, I've scored higher. So a seven I think is quite. I've scored higher, so a 7 I think is quite a decent score still.
Speaker 3:It's a generous score. Well done, north Brewery. You've made some good ones, mr Hodgkiss. Feedback on the feedback Get the rod out.
Speaker 2:Oh, the rod is out, get it out. We're going to the fish pond of feedback, fish pond of feedback. We've had a message through. This episode will probably release end of January, start of February. We've had a message through from a Linda Carey saying Merry Christmas, so apologies for the delay. Merry Christmas back, merry Christmas, so apologies for the delay.
Speaker 3:Oh, Merry Christmas back. Merry Christmas Linda.
Speaker 2:Ah, there's um. There's something hanging off the end of your tackle, oh dear and uh, I'm not sure what that is let's have a look, let's have a look at the end of your tackle. An email. Yeah, we've got an email from the fish pond feedback. Lovely Subject line Honest feedback, oh dear, is this from your wife?
Speaker 2:Good afternoon. Is this from your wife? Good afternoon. As a relatively new listener to your podcast, I relish the opportunity to listen to each new episode as I and this is me speaking here I think the quotation marks are important. Okay, quotation marks WFH, which, as we know, is work from home. I relish the opportunity to listen to each new episode as I WFH. I marvel at the way the two of you interact and I'm genuinely surprised at the informative content you share with your listeners Wow.
Speaker 2:My only feedback would be that the two of you seem to be on different levels in terms of the quality of humour and your general banter.
Speaker 3:Oh dear.
Speaker 2:Williams, is it time you spread your wings, go it alone and really make a name for yourself. Couldn't agree more. Don't let him hold you back. Your friend and avid listener.
Speaker 3:Morgz from Wally very good listeners to episode 5 will know Morgz. He's one of the people who requested one of those videos that we talked about in episode 5. Go back and listen right to the end.
Speaker 2:How lovely to hear from Morgz yes, lovely to hear from our Weybridge listener um new listeners. We actually it's um is that the? Word? What's the word? What's the word?
Speaker 3:you're dumbfounded by the amount of people I'm dumbfounded by the people that actually people search.
Speaker 2:Go to the podcast. I'm dumbfounded by the people that actually people search. Go to our podcast and listen to it.
Speaker 3:So where are these new listeners?
Speaker 2:These new listeners are from, so we've got from Bangor, Ards and North Down, which I believe is.
Speaker 3:That's by us, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh is it.
Speaker 3:Bangor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah Bangor yeah, yeah, bangor, yeah, it's in between where I live, bangor.
Speaker 3:Northern Newtownards. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:Bangor, northern. Oh okay, nice, okay. Uh, lesser near you, busan, south Korea. Ooh um, orillia in Ontario, which is a an old, somber guy of mine, which, uh, one of my fellow canadians fellow canadians, I'm not canadian, you know what I mean one of your old chums chesterfield, derbyshire and after the best part of two seasons and no listeners in africa. And then we got, uh, cairo and egypt, it's all kicking Africa. And then we've got Cairo in Egypt, it's all kicking off. Mr Oshkiss, we've got a new listener from Cape Town in South Africa.
Speaker 3:No way yes, yes, way we're reaching all corners of the globe here all corners of the globe.
Speaker 2:Little quiz, mr Oshkiss little quiz. Oh, I love a little quiz, mr Oshkiss little quiz, just to round off 2024. Who are the top 5? Not necessarily in order, but I want you to guess the top 5 countries that our gnome listeners come to. So, as in, where most listeners come from the top 5 countries, I expect you to get at least three out of five, and if you think that's the three, I'll be disappointed. Okay.
Speaker 3:Are we saying the UK is one country Correct, so the UK Correct and Canada.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 3:And America.
Speaker 2:Correct, that's three out of five and they are the United Kingdom is first, the United States is second, canada is third. I kind of expect Canada to be second. The United States is second, after that Fourth or fifth most popular listeners.
Speaker 3:I'd probably say Australia, incorrect.
Speaker 2:No, all right, I'll give one more guess.
Speaker 3:Let's go for the Republic of Ireland.
Speaker 2:No. Pakistan and Taiwan. Wow, number one, united Kingdom, number two United States. Number three Canada. Number four Pakistan. Number five Taiwan.
Speaker 3:Well, hello to everybody in those countries.
Speaker 2:So, yes, so thank you for our know me listeners from 2024 and, uh, those that continue to listen in 2025 there must be something better you can do, listeners, but we're great, we're great for you here.
Speaker 3:Um, so my first look, uh, we recently went to see Disney on Ice, which was actually pretty good. So we have a child who In Belfast, in Belfast, yeah, at the arena. So we have a child and a wife who both like Disney, and we have in-laws who also like Disney. So we, we have a wife, we, the royal, we, I have a wife. He's a big disney, he's a big disney freak.
Speaker 3:yeah, um, I've married into a disney freak, um, but we were these things a while ago and it was great because I'm going to sound like a proper dad here the price of tickets for things these days, but the? Um, the tickets were really reasonably priced, like I think they were like 20 something pounds each, which I thought was pretty good for, like, a big arena show. Yeah, um. So we took, uh, the in-laws and we took my mother along as well and we took brain and it was a really good show. The it wasn't. I'd. I'd been to one before. I took leslie ann to one in 2010, and that was just trying to win brainy points. This was the first time I'd taken my kid to it and it was much better, I must admit, like the show was. I don't know if it's just because, as you say, I've been indoctrinated into the world of Disney now. Yeah, but it was superb. They had a big cast and they did loads of stuff for the kids and they got the crowd going and it was really good.
Speaker 3:The only complaint I have and it's a big one so Brady Bunch, so these arena shows, of course it's Disney it's all about. They want to make the money. They want people indoctrinated into the brand so people become lifelong fans and the lifetime value of that customer goes up and et cetera, et cetera. So what do they do? So we go, and my mom's there and his other grandma's there, and they both say, oh, he's like, oh, he's 10 pounds. They both give him 10 pounds, he's got 20 pounds to buy himself and I get 20 pounds. Good, um, so we go to the merch stand. Is there anything there for 20 pounds?
Speaker 2:Is there anything there for 20?
Speaker 3:pounds, is there not? So he wanted this hook. It's a.
Speaker 2:Maui hook like just a plastic hook as in like Captain.
Speaker 3:Hook no from Moana. You know the rock.
Speaker 2:He has like a hook, a fish hook. I'm out of touch, listeners, I'm out of touch.
Speaker 3:Well, all this is is a piece of plastic right it's like something you get from Blackpool for two pounds and they wanted how much? Do you think this thing was well?
Speaker 2:this is more than 20, which is ridiculous.
Speaker 3:It was more than 20 25 more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what for a hook. So what Describe? You know what?
Speaker 3:I'll send you a picture.
Speaker 2:Are we talking plastic Like plastic plastic?
Speaker 3:Plastic.
Speaker 2:I'm talking sort of handcrafted.
Speaker 3:I've just seen one on eBay for a lot less than I'm paying for it, so let me copy this image and send this to you. This is all. It is just a plastic hook. Can you see that?
Speaker 2:I can, and that's plastic, I mean that looks engraved and all sorts there that looks.
Speaker 3:No, it's just that'd be, it's not it's not like a 3d printer type job, no, but well, a bit better than a 3d printer, like a toy it's just a little toy, a plastic hook 33 pounds and I was like okay, and then they had other things. I sound like a right tight ass here, but like some of the stuff they had on sale was was like.
Speaker 3:I was like, okay, so the tickets were reasonably priced, but the merch and of course all the kids had to have the merch and all the colors, and I was like, wow, that's where they made all the money. I mean, duh, it was so. That was my only grumble was the amount of parents who had gone there to take the kids in. This is reasonable.
Speaker 2:And they get stung for all, because everything there is like yeah, of course and every if.
Speaker 3:If you see another kid with one, it's like, well, why can't I have it? So you, everybody want, nobody wants to be like. You know you can't have it to a kid when you take them for a nice day, yeah so he ended up. He ended up getting the hook and to be fair, he has got it. He's put it up in his room and he does like it and other than the price of that, the show itself was incredible.
Speaker 1:The people who were doing the ice skating was incredible.
Speaker 3:The stunts they did the show I would. If anybody has kids and he's like, oh, this is probably a bit, I can highly recommend it for a afternoon out. Um, I was well impressed. That was my first look at Walliams. Disney on ice Gets a thumbs up. I have a little one that I was going to do. I don't want to be conversational on this, but I have to ask Walliams because I've never watched this. I've heard about it but I've never watched it. Tonight I caught about 20 minutes of it and I was like what is what is this? What? What is it? The mass singer? Like what?
Speaker 2:what is it if it was squeezed down to 20 minutes? Yeah, probably a good show, but no it, um it.
Speaker 3:It made my toes curl I was watching you've got like, you've got jonathan ross and davina mccall and they're all kind of dancing and making these weird comments and it wasn't funny. New series, or it must be. Yeah, it must be new series. Yeah, it was, we were just flicking, we were just having.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're not yeah, we tried it when it first came out, the first series and the premise it was good, but it just did so much trying to build up like drum roll, yeah, and then repeat what they just said, and then like repeat what they said again, yeah, beat it and then drum roll and then it's just yeah, it's massively popular though like people love it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, we can't get into it, but me neither yeah, I like the idea, if you're a fan tell us what we're missing, like if anyone's a fan out there of the show and write it to first at noam's first at noam's outlookcom.
Speaker 3:tell us what we're missing, tell us why we should be getting into it. And maybe we're just too old and cynical. Maybe you have to be more like woo, yeah, and just throw yourself into it. But I just, I just couldn't get into it. I was like what is it? And they were like no. I was like not for me, no, no, over Christmas we actually went back and watched. I mean this is quite sad. Again, we're talking about retro and I found out something. There's a Northern Irishman called Foy Vance and he was on Stars in the Rise, foy V and he was on stars in the rise for events and he was on stars in the rise before he was famous. So that sent us down an old stars in the rise rabbit hole on youtube and I mean, if I'm saying the mass singer is bad, stars in the rise was flipping awful like watching it back, I was like how was this primetime?
Speaker 2:tv. That was the the missed. Then I'm going to be that one Tonight Matthew.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be Madonna Tonight, matthew. Yeah, so one of the ones we watched was Madonna and this woman comes out hello, I'm Julie. I'm from Manchester.
Speaker 2:And I work at McHouse.
Speaker 3:Tonight, matthew, I'm going to be Madonna and she comes out, sounds nothing like Madonna, absolutely nothing like her. Can't dance like madonna, doesn't sound like madonna. And then it was like there was so many bad ones. A guy come out and we came out as billy joel. He said other than he sung a song. That was the only thing he had in common with billy joel. He didn't sound anything like I think standards were.
Speaker 2:I think standards were less it was so bad.
Speaker 3:It was so bad. I'm trying to think of some of the ones we watched. There were maybe one or two who were like, oh, actually that's a pretty good impression, but they made a whole show out of tribute acts. Oh dear, it was really funny watching it back. When you look back at it, you think, oh, stars and Rises was brilliant. And then funny watching it back and thinking, you know, when you look back at it you think, oh, your stars are always brilliant. And then you watch back like how was?
Speaker 2:it brilliant and that would have been prime time tv as well oh 100 especially when we had what four or five channels, that would have been probably 12, 12 million viewers well, I wonder if Braden now cause he got into it.
Speaker 3:He was like oh yeah, I'm a singer, so I wonder like when he's older he'll be like oh, when we were kids we had all the great shows like the Masked Singer, and then he'll go on his YouTube and watching go. Actually, the Masked Singer was a bit shit and that first look for me.
Speaker 2:So a little bit of a first look for me, but a first look for Logan, but a topic area that I used to watch as a kid. But now it's a whole new world. It's a whole new world. Thomas the Tank Engine, thomas the Tank Engine, thomas the Tank Engine was a favourite of mine, but you know we're talking 1980s, early 1990s and it's changed so much since then, but also probably when we watched it. It's obviously changed a lot because it's a 1940s idea. Yeah so Thomas Tank Engine, logan is. It's obviously changed a lot because it's a 1940s idea. Yeah, so Thomas tank engine. Um, logan is he's. He's fully into trains. He loves Thomas tank engine, which I'm partly obviously mentioned what's the grommet, and that's my.
Speaker 2:Yeah, growing up and he enjoyed that. He's in the Thomas tank engine as well, so that's win-win. So yes, he likes thomas tank engine and post and pat nice um, but um, yeah, so, thomas, thank you. So first look for logan at thomas tank engine, but first look for me as well in terms of all the new characters. Then, just so, and for christmas. So we got him the and I must admit it's partly for me, but the old, basically the old original um, book set box set, book set box set, I don't know.
Speaker 2:But basically yeah, the original 27 books of thomas tank engine. Um, but he loves them. Yeah, it's very, it's very wordy, and there's that one. So you got quite a few words, one picture, and he'll just stare at that one picture for ages whilst you're reading all the yeah it must be the way it's written and a little bit like a train go along, so it repeats itself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um and um, logan's very much. Um, he says choo-choo, now he says chugga-chugga. Um, you know he's fully into his trains and at christmas time he got train sets and he just loves. He loves trains, though percy percy's one of his favorites, and percy is old school percy's like one of the, the ogs, um, but he's also one of his favorites is nia.
Speaker 2:So Nia is a new ones and Nia's from Kenya. Nia's orange and colorful, but there's, there's, there's so much, so it's 19 to this box set. We got Thomas, a tank engine, 1940s, so you know.
Speaker 3:Oh, 84 years ago, 85 years ago, yeah, and not too bad when you read it so far.
Speaker 2:So I've only read up to book 8 so far. The original 27 books yeah and apart from the fat controller, there's nothing too like you wouldn't really say that these days, I think yeah, um, but um you haven't got to cancel, thomas no, they're just good and it's just good honest. A bit like the old watson grommets it's just good, honest charm yeah um, there's, uh, there's.
Speaker 2:There's new characters now. So there's kena, which I don't like. Kena, uh, logan's nanny is not a fan of kena. The electric train, no, no, no electric, the good old-fashioned steam trains. So with the original original and from what I remember of thomas tank engine, um, it felt like a bit like post and pat where I was, like in in yorkshire or somewhere, some random village or something. There's new episodes now which are quite american. There's like american versions of it yeah, thomas can fly and things and there's like, and the theme tunes like go, go go, thomas, go go go, and it's all just over the top, too colorful Too, um toys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and a bit like the new post and pack. It's like special delivery service, whereas I don't know there's something to be said about the old school. So Thomas the Tank Engine Postman Pat in Yorkshire going through the old Yorkshire Dales and just chugging along and choo-choo-choo and Farming.
Speaker 3:Sound as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, farming Sound Postman Pat, for instance, would pop in, have a cup, cup of tea, speak to the person he's delivering to and then crack up, whereas now it's just like go, go, go deliver. It's all about speed, and so I think my bigger picture is mr logic is is this affecting our kids these days, these cartoon quick, quick, quick add into the anxiety and the stress?
Speaker 3:and no, of course it's not, I don't think so. Anyway, the we had, so we we've been through this very similar you gave we're going through. Williams is very normal very normal to be expected and I can confirm and concur that braden was exactly the same trump thomas mad postman pat mad loved it when they combined it. So in postman pat you got the pencaster flyer, if memory serves me correct, and the uh, the pencaster rocket and the pencaster flyer, which are two trains that feature in.
Speaker 3:Okay, oh rare one, christmas. He asked for a pencaster fly, a toy, let's get it second hand.
Speaker 3:And we had to drive an hour and a half away to pick this thing up. That's a different story for another podcast, um, but it's quite normal because obviously you've got such strong memories and bonds with the show yourself. But when you, you know to the kids, like brain would would often say like if I tried to make him watch the old thomas now we had, he was out, he'd grown out of thomas before they went really cartoony, um, so we had the kind of 3d versions, thomas and friends, which, um, still a lot of classic characters, but we're still pretty good, like the channel 5, pretty good. Now the cartoon version where it's like go, go, go, and like you say, there's it's all thomas and friends from around the world and there's movies. It's like go, go, go, and like you say, it's all Thomas and Friends from around the world and there's movies. It's like, well, okay, this is just too much. It's not as I wouldn't. I was like, ooh, I like the old one, but that's just because you're on this.
Speaker 3:No charm, but that's just because of our nostalgic approach. Logan will tell you what he likes the most. Does he like it? Which one doesn't he like? You know we. It's hard sometimes because you want to try and steer your kids into things you like. I tried so hard to get brain to watch. I bought the turtle teenage mutant, ninja turtles, yeah series, once for couldn't stream an ms. I bought on dvd again. Oh, let's watch. This is brilliant 10 minutes and he's like he's rubbish dad.
Speaker 2:I don't want to watch this like I want to go watch something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's whatever like there's new programs that the kids are going to watch and now have exactly. God willing, they will have exactly the same kind of conversation about.
Speaker 3:You know that thomas, and in the new version of thomas and the postman special delivery service, rather than just postman pat, you know, it's just it's. You think about our parents, right? Some of the, some of the shit my old man would say like he used to watch, like jamie and his magic torch and the magic roundabout and the was it the herbs? Like sage, and I remember mr ben, you watch. If my dad ever tried to make me watch that I'd be like shut up. I want to watch Danger Mouse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, oh, danger Mouse, yeah.
Speaker 3:So even Danger Mouse has had a facelift. Yeah, but like what we watched Inspector, gadget and stuff like that our kids would be like well, I learned to tosh what our parents watched, we would have probably just turned our noses up. Okay, this is what the kids are into.
Speaker 2:And, uh, hard though still, just, you know, occasionally just force him to but so far he is enjoying the old school thomas oh, that's good as well as the new stuff that's good, and it's good for you as well, because you enjoy it as well yeah yeah, makes it a lot easier so yeah, so first look at the, the new th, the old Thomas.
Speaker 3:Old Thomas is better, the next generation, if you. So I remember there's. There's a video of cause. Obviously you and I like ACDC. There's a song called rock and roll train and somebody has put old school Thomas video over rock and roll train and it's very funny. Brian thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. So, if you, I don't think it's just funny brain things, it's the funniest thing in the world. Okay, if you, I don't think it's funny, but he finds it very funny. So rock and roll train versus Thomas the Tank Engine yeah, enjoyable. Stop give me a ring, see if you see if you can get my chemical chemical chemical.
Speaker 3:See what happens a chemical you gotta do number.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do one second let me just, I'll give him a call. Give him a call and see what happens. I'll give him a call. You've got to give him a number, haven't you? I do One second. Let me just give him a call. What's his number? There? It is 077-054-321. Hopefully no one's listening to this 3-2-1-double-double-zero. Here we go. It's phoning. Oh, hello, hello, hello, darts, yet darts, yet, yeah, darts, he's on the way. He's on the way he said. Is he coming? Is he coming on the way he said?
Speaker 2:on the way. Darts, darts on the way. Oh very, oh, very good, so he's on the way he's okay.
Speaker 3:Well, why are you waiting for him? Should I go and see if I know, or know him once?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna have a chat yeah, I mean, what an episode, no or no, and potentially michael van gogh and coming in.
Speaker 3:Well, why not? All right? Um cool right, I'm gonna go, I'll go and see. Oh my god who's? Here. Who's here who?
Speaker 2:is not both of them, is it both of them?
Speaker 3:no, just a no or no that would be a lesson, no or no. Interviewing michael van gerling yes, well, I've got to go because I need to give up my seat. Hang on, all right, you're all right.
Speaker 2:Oh, hello hey no or no how you doing, I'm doing all right, thank you how?
Speaker 4:are you? Are you doing Good?
Speaker 2:good, yeah, not too bad. Not too bad. I was just thinking wouldn't it be lovely if Mr Hodgkiss, the Nail or Gnome and Michael Van Gerwen were in the same room? That would be.
Speaker 4:That would be a very busy room.
Speaker 2:It would be a busy room, but not to be, not to be. How are you doing right?
Speaker 4:I'm okay. Yes, I am very cold at the minute.
Speaker 2:It's very tough to me, yeah, tough to me. Winter tough to me because you're predominantly outside.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm here today because I, if you remember, Dan, I did actually speak to you on episode four.
Speaker 2:You did, you did. Is that the one we recorded or not?
Speaker 4:Yes, you did. Is that the one we recorded or not? Yes, it was. No, we didn't record it before.
Speaker 3:We recorded it. It just never saw the light of day. No, it did not, it's because somebody forgot to press play and record. So I'm here today because the listeners have probably missed me and I thought it would be a good idea to come and continue my series on helping people with their relationships.
Speaker 2:Yes, relationship advice, wasn't it? Yes, yes, and we had a request.
Speaker 3:We've had a request from a listener who wants to know From.
Speaker 4:Weybridge how do?
Speaker 2:you tell your partner From Weybridge or where they're from?
Speaker 3:No, no, this person is from Bangor, okay, bangor. We've had a question that said how do you tell your partner?
Speaker 4:the gift they got you isn't quite the right one, oh dear.
Speaker 3:And I thought this was because of the New. Year. Yes, like a Christmas gift or a birthday gift. It doesn't specify, but I understand that this is a very Sensitive matter and one I've experienced Myself. So I thought I'd tell you in the listeners a story About me and my beloved wife From Christmas many moons ago, before she was Shattered and destroyed by the lawnmower. Yes, yes, on the road to Christmas I've been dropping a few Hints about needing a fishing rod.
Speaker 4:Subtle things, subtle things like leaving Gnome Fishing Weekly open on the advert for the local rod shop and complaining about the rod I had, yes, well, on Christmas morning, my good wife, the Rodmas 2000,.
Speaker 2:that's a good one.
Speaker 4:No, I don't want the Rodmas 2000,. Do we need to?
Speaker 3:No. On Christmas morning my good wife presented me with a lovely long box and I knew right then She'd gotten, she Whoops.
Speaker 2:She displayed her box.
Speaker 3:she displayed her box, alright, okay and yeah, it was a shoulder and and I knew she'd gotten the hint. Hmm, as I took a look in the box, and only we should gotten the hint, hmm, as I took a look in the box, hmm.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I put a box in the box.
Speaker 3:I mean sorry, it was indeed a fishing rod, but she'd gotten me the salmon snatcher 400. There was a rod in the box, brand new rod in the box, and she'd gotten me the salmon snatcher 400 the salmon snatcher, the salmon snatcher 400. When I had my heart set on the codpiece 4000. So as she hugged me and asked if I liked what I saw in her box, I of course said Is the codpiece the box?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:No, she's got me the salmon snatcher.
Speaker 2:I wanted the codpiece. The codpiece was in her box no. So, this is a very serious story, Dan.
Speaker 4:So she bought me a lovely rod.
Speaker 3:Anyway, she asked me a lovely rod. Anyway, she asked me if I liked it and I said, of course, dear, it's perfect. As the day went on, I wondered if I should ask her if she'd kept the receipt and be honest with her about my desire to have the codpiece 4000 and not the salmon snatcher 400. After all, she said she wanted me to have the perfect gift and the Salmon Snatcher wasn't what I had wanted Over a nice supper of cheese and crackers. I was about to come clean, but before I could, mrs No-It-All-Know said Dearest husband, I'm so glad you like your present. I spoke to several different shops about the best one to get you, as I really wanted it to be perfect, as you've worked tirelessly all year. At that moment I knew this was indeed the perfect rod. It may not have the length and the girth that I had hoped for but it was bought with love and heart.
Speaker 3:I never told her the rod was the wrong one because, quite frankly, it wasn't. So my advice is this If the gift comes from the heart, it is the perfect gift.
Speaker 2:And you bought your wife a lawnmower, didn't?
Speaker 4:you? No, daniel, we don't talk about lawnmowers.
Speaker 3:It's a very touchy subject. That was a hard story to tell.
Speaker 2:Very difficult.
Speaker 3:Yes, I hope some listeners find the information useful, very useful.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, no problem.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go now and have a wee rest.
Speaker 2:Yes, have a restful wee. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 3:What happened there? He looks a bit. He looks like he had a good laugh and a good cry at the same time.
Speaker 2:Yeah he did. He's just talking about his rod. He's talking about his rod again. Yeah, his rod and cod pieces.
Speaker 3:The cod pieces and the salmon snatcher.
Speaker 2:And salmon snatchers and the big boxes and rods and boxes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he knows. And the big boxes and rods and boxes, yeah, he knows it's. It's hard mentioning sometimes when he talks he didn't talk about his wife no, he didn't very much no he didn't really mention her not too much oh that's good, because sometimes he gets very emotional when he talks about his yeah, good old.
Speaker 2:What's his wife called Mo, isn't it not Mo? No, anyway, anyway, bless her Bless.
Speaker 3:Her Rest in peace.
Speaker 2:Anyways, rest in peace. Peace I have. Peace is yeah, oh, something's Dying through, something's Dying through. Oh, hello, hello, hello, hey, hello.
Speaker 4:Hey, it's.
Speaker 2:Michael, hello, mr Mr Van Gogh, hello, hello, hey, hello, hey, it's Michael. Hello, mr Mr Van Gogh. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. How was Christmas? How was the championship?
Speaker 4:I'm very sad, Dan. I'm still very sad. I have not got over the fact that I lost to Luke Little up in the darts.
Speaker 2:You did very well, though I think.
Speaker 4:No, not in the final. I did very well. I was terrible, Dan Terrible. I kept thinking about parties.
Speaker 2:But you know, a star is born every 17 years, so you know.
Speaker 4:Yes, but he's too little, too little, too little and I want to beat him in the darts. I'm not going to go in this little punk beating me.
Speaker 2:I'm not happy yeah, I can't quite understand you, michael.
Speaker 4:The accent's very strong boy, I talk more clearly but yeah, that's lovely.
Speaker 2:Um I I hear you've been in thailand. You've been in thailand recently on holiday. You know you have yes, I was in thailand I tried to forget it yeah, your instagram said you're in thailand, um, but uh it's a lookalike but alright, so you did have a nice time then, because you weren't there.
Speaker 4:I was in Thailand. I tried to forget things, though, because of the darts I love the darts.
Speaker 2:I'm very annoyed fair enough, any first looks for you, michael you're the first.
Speaker 4:Any first looks for you, michael. Well, we had a first look at Luke Lindner winning the Darts Championship. He won the world champion. He won half a million pounds, and I won two to half a million pounds because I needed to buy a new car. My car's broken. That's what. If I play really well, I'm not going to have the money and then I buy myself a car and then I can drive nice places lovely but, I, didn't.
Speaker 2:No, no, you did not, erm, so we've only got you booked in for a very short time because the agent said er, it cost a lot of money, time and money.
Speaker 4:Yeah, erm, any any final words any, I, yeah, any any final words, any try and beat me the doctor, I'm gonna put you down. I'm gonna bring the dots that. Thank you, michael. Thanks, it's the only thing that gets me. I love the note. He's my favourite. I knew his wife.
Speaker 2:We've not had many listeners from Holland actually.
Speaker 4:No, I would tell people. I would tell people to listen to the podcast and watch the darts, listen to personal norms and watch the darts.
Speaker 2:More listeners from Taiwan and Pakistan than Holland, but yeah.
Speaker 4:Okay, done, I'm going to go now.
Speaker 2:Alright, yeah, nice to speak to you.
Speaker 4:Well done. Say hello to Craig.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 4:Goodbye, what's up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, mr Todrickus, you didn't manage to actually speak to Michael.
Speaker 3:He rang you, didn't he? I can't hear what's going on in your phone.
Speaker 2:No, it's true, Of course. Of course, silly me. What was he talking?
Speaker 3:about anything, you'll find out.
Speaker 2:You'll find out in episode 6 oh, very good, looking forward to it but yeah, it was very good, very good. So we'll end the series, not the series, the episode.
Speaker 3:We're ending the series some people would love it if it wasn't the end of the series. The bad joke, so I'm going to give you some context here. For Christmas, brain got a joke book.
Speaker 4:Yes, it's for 9-year-olds yes. I'm reviewing it.
Speaker 3:I can say this I imagine it's the same book that you get all your jokes from. So I'm going to tell three and we'll do a test.
Speaker 2:This is a bad joke, not bad jokes. This is a bad joke. This is seriously silly. Oh, jokes for kids, silly jokes, not bad jokes, just silly jokes.
Speaker 3:Silly jokes. They're your kind of jokes. Well, I don't know what We'll see. We'll see. See what you think, See if they make you laugh. Are Dan's jokes better than a nine-year-old's? Oh so, joke number one why do bees have sticky hair?
Speaker 2:Why do bees have sticky hair?
Speaker 3:Because Because they use a honeycomb. Yay, this next one's, this one's actually quite good. This one genuinely made me laugh when I read it. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig? A pig that knows karate, as in oink oink, oink, oink, oink. A pig that knows karate A pork?
Speaker 2:chop Oink, oink, oink, Oink, oink oink.
Speaker 3:Oink, oink, oink. And then last, what did the wolf say when he stubbed his toe? Ouch, ouch, ouch. See, I'm after an audience. It's probably your kind of stupid humour. Silly humour, silly humour.
Speaker 2:They're not bad jokes. They're not like rude bad jokes.
Speaker 3:No, no, they're quite funny.
Speaker 2:Yes, which weren't actually publishable at the end.
Speaker 3:What the ones from previously? I'm not surprised. They were very bad, very rude.
Speaker 2:Oh dear, yeah, on the bad joke note. So my boss, he hates it when I shorten his name to Dick, especially when his name is Steve. So that's the end of the episode.
Speaker 3:That's the end of the episode. You're drunker than you were three hours ago. Yes, I am actually. I can definitely tell.
Speaker 2:Yes, Well.
Speaker 3:I am actually. I can definitely tell yes.
Speaker 2:We'll be able to tell on top Don't you hate it? I hate it when my wife keeps telling me that I don't get it.
Speaker 3:I mean, what does that mean? Very good, keep them coming, williams, keep them coming See you in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2:Everyone, until next time. Until next time, bye, bye.
Speaker 3:Hello, I'm Julieie, I'm from manchester and, uh, I work in accounts. And tonight, matthew, I'm gonna be madonna.
