First Look Gnomes
Two Dad's doing Silly Things.
Everyone wants to learn something new, but only some people want to sit down and read a bunch of nonsense - so why not listen to some instead? Chuck in some random facts and a couple of Dad jokes, and you'll be full of (potentially useless) knowledge in no time.
Whether all of it is true is part of the gnomery.
Join Cornishman "Walliams" in the shed at the bottom of his garden in Cornwall and Wulfrunian (a man from Wolverhampton apparently) "Mr Hodgkiss" from Belfast as they take a "first look" at the relatively unknown, learn some stuff and chat about life as Parents.
Dive into the First Look Gnome Universe every month and learn about random things you didn't even know you wanted to learn about! Fill some of your day with something interesting, engaging, and funny.
Welcome to the bottom of the garden.......'But what about the Gnomes?' I hear you cry!
Good things come to gnomes who wait. And ones that rate, review and subscribe :)
First Look Gnomes
Fatherly Follies and Retro Revelations
Ever wondered what it's like to juggle fatherhood, podcasting, and the occasional stair tumble? We're not saying we've nailed it, but we sure have some stories to tell! Join us, Walliams and Mr. Hodgkiss, as we navigate through the delightful chaos of parenting, technical glitches, and holiday mishaps. From recounting our unrecorded yet unforgettable Episode 4 to sharing the joys of fatherhood with a dash of humour, this episode is packed with laughs and life lessons, all brought to you with our signature blend of humour...
Beer lovers, you're in for a treat! We're diving into the world of craft beers with a lively debate on IPAs, including the elusive 7% North Heptagon. Whether it's the psychology of branding or the surprising potency of a tropical brew, our beer journey is as unpredictable as it is enlightening... Plus, we'll ponder the tactile allure of high-end branding and imagine a future with a comprehensive beer rating system, all while reminiscing about the good old days of beer brewing.
We reflect on the magic of Christmas entertainment and the evolution of media. Remember those days of DVDs and pirated collections? We'll take you on a nostalgic trip with a nod to the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special. And for the parents out there, stick around for some unconventional tips on getting the kiddos to tidy up their mess—or at least attempt to! Whether you're a fan of retro media or seeking parenting hacks, our episode wraps up with insightful anecdotes and a hearty dose of humor.
Join us for ...
a first look at
- Stair tumbles in your 40s
- Wallace and Gromit, Vengence most fowl
- Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special
Tips for Dads
Thirsty First: https://untappd.com/b/north-heptagon/6014486
And the Dad joke of the week ...
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Welcome to another episode of First Look Gnomes with your professional, as ever, hosts Walliams and Mr Hotchkiss.
Speaker 2:Ah, what's going on? I'm going to go and set it low.
Speaker 3:you two Shut the hell up, everybody get up, sing it. One, two, three, four, five make it down now. Baby 2, 3, 4, 5 make it down now. Baby, bring it on, baby, bring it on baby, bring it on, baby, bring it on.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure that's the official lyrics, but I like them. If they weren't, they should have been oh dear baby, bring it on.
Speaker 1:Welcome to episode yeah, baby, bring it on bring it on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right. Yeah, thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Episode 5. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah, thank you very much. Episode five hopefully, listeners, you'll hear this episode after episode four failed to record four was a complete disaster from memory, though I think it was actually possibly one of our best episodes. I remember laughing quite a bit. Um, that's because before christ At least for us, it was quite a fun episode. But yes, it didn't record properly, so apologies to our avid listeners.
Speaker 2:You say you think it was good, but the fact that I had to text you at the end and say, did I talk about this in the last podcast I recorded, I couldn't remember what we discussed in the failed episode.
Speaker 3:Anyways, Episode 5. Welcome back listeners. Welcome back listeners. I don't remember how we do this. How do we do this? I'm not ready for my thirsty. First, I've got a tribute, which is definitely not a first.
Speaker 2:A tribute, this could be my 5,000th and first terrible planning we usually start these episodes with a thirsty first and you've already got half a pint of beer in your hand apologies.
Speaker 3:So yeah, thirsty first will come later in the episode. We'll get stuck into our first look, into our first look for our new listeners what we do. Two dads, we drink beer. We don't drink beer if we're not feeling 100%.
Speaker 2:I'm on the 0% today.
Speaker 3:As per Mr Hodgkiss, and we talk about first looks, it's something that we've not experienced or witnessed or seen, for the first time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've got some catch-up to do about all the things that happened over the Christmas period and the New Year period do.
Speaker 3:but we, um we had some technical difficulties, um ourselves again, um on this episode, um and also also I um I literally just messaged craig saying right, ready to go, and then, um, the wife of wife messages saying baby is not down. So I had to go in sort of help help with that. A little change over seemed to shake him out of uh, shake him out of the I'm not going to sleep, and he did in the end.
Speaker 3:So yeah, sometimes a kid just needs a bad cuddle, and then we came back, and then mr hodgkiss little came back I can't hear you which then led to half an hour of let's switch it off and on again. Let's switch that off and on again.
Speaker 1:Let's switch that off and on again.
Speaker 3:Hey, I fixed it. Wow, I switched off this and fixed it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kick it, Kick it on off again. Eventually we got it Once. We turned everything on and off again a few times, Hold the button down, count to ten and hope for the best. But here we are.
Speaker 3:First look. Let's look at some first looks. So, relating back to a few episodes ago, just before the wedding celebration, I made the mistake of as a 40-year-old, I stepped to the left. Mistake of as a 40 year old, I stepped to the left. Um, and what a recent episode is I had a first look of um.
Speaker 2:Due to turning around um, I fell down the stairs. Oh, you're joking, yeah just just for chris.
Speaker 3:So I was going half halfway, halfway up the steps and I was like, oh, a bit chilly, I'm gonna put the heating on. So I kind of swiveled, turned around on the steps. I was on the edge of a step and then before you know it bum up in the air and then just bouncing down the stairs on my back that's gotta hurt.
Speaker 2:Did it just knock?
Speaker 3:you for six. And then yeah, so just yeah, not me for six. I was like, oh, oh, and then, just, you know, you just kind of realize I don't bounce back quite as I used to, um, and I was kind of aching that and I was fine. And then, yeah, just aching for it. And then on christmas day, um, I was on the floor quite a bit playing with toys and things with the nephew and niece and logan, um, and, um, yeah, just gradually, the christmas dinner I was sat there going oh, and then just uh, grab a little, put a little pillow behind my back, yeah, and just, oh, it's starting to get worse actually.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, it was like a couple of days later and yeah, just gradually getting worse and worse. And then sort of finished Christmas at my folks' place and yeah, got home I was like, oh, it was getting quite bad now. And then I sat in um, um, one of my chairs it's not really, it's not really built for um keeping your back straight. It's got a recline, sort of just sink into it. Yeah, um, that that cream one in the in the corner and, um, is that right bedtime now christmas sober, let's go to bed. And I was like, oh, I can't move, oh, no, I can't move. So I had to do that really embarrassing thing where you kind of like slide off, just like you slowly slide off the chair, bum lands on the floor.
Speaker 3:And then you like kind of try to turn and then push off, and push off the chair to get up right, and I spread a bit of deep heated heating stuff on my back, went to bed and then much better the next day Okay. But yeah, my yeah, and then my first look at four falling down some steps falling down steps is a 40 year old man.
Speaker 2:It's a very different 40 year old man who's sober.
Speaker 3:It's very different to a 20 year old and, on that note, both my mum, um and uh, georgie's step-mom. They both straight away went. Were you drunk? No, it was at lunch time, during work yeah, lunch time at work.
Speaker 2:That's a perfectly sound expectation that you may be a little bit tipsy wow, yeah, this is true, this is true, but yeah so I you're lucky, though, because those kind of things you could have broke your tailbone or anything, lessening out your mom she did something very similar uh, a couple of years ago and she literally broke her back um. So she, she was in, she couldn't move for like five weeks um same thing.
Speaker 2:She felt like her foot went underneath it and she just landed right on the kind of stair joint. Boom, just the impact. Just cracked something in her back. It was awful.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the initial boom. And then more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gravity's a mother clipper that hurts.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm glad you're okay. That could have been quite nasty and then um, also at christmas. Well, at the end of christmas didn't quite get time, but um, I was looking forward to as I think I might have mentioned in a previous episode um to got. I've managed to get logan into watching.
Speaker 3:Uh, wallatson grommett oh yeah, my favorites and, um, my pops is one of my granddad's um favorites, um, and vengeance most foul. So I got a first look at vengeance most foul, um. But, uh, I was looking forward to it. Looking forward to it, didn't have time to watch it and then, like the last day of well, the weekend of the last weekend of the celebration, you know when you're taking the decorations down and all that sort of stuff I was like, right, I'm going to watch Wallace and Gromit Christmas special Vengeance Most Foul With.
Speaker 2:As we spoke about Norbot the smart gnome, Yep, he's stolen all of our best ideas and yeah if you've not seen the movie.
Speaker 3:There's lots of gnomes and robot names and, yeah, either. It got to a point where feathers, feathers, mcgraw managed to bit for sport actually, that's not spoiled much to hack into the gnome and turned him evil and uh, logan didn't like it. Logan got really scared, um, so we had to well, sorry, the wifey wife took the the parental decision to uh stop the movie. I don't think I would have made it so uh, yeah, so we didn't end up watching it together, um, as I hoped, but um, but yeah, I managed to watch it myself at some point, but, um, it was. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't quite the. Uh, quite the old was. I preferred the old worse than gromit.
Speaker 3:20 minute, 30 minute, sort of old school yeah, sort of, I don't know, probably that nostalgia from my younger days, maybe, but this was like a full-on animated movie, which too glamorous yeah, because I wear rabbit. I didn't really enjoy that as much as the the 30 minute ones yeah, um so um but yeah, that was good.
Speaker 2:It's good. There's a bit more charm about the old ones in there.
Speaker 3:There's like it's yeah, that's the right word, that's the. That's the good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good, use the word, but the charm about it yeah, whereas anyone that's kind of you can tell anything, that's obviously the original ones. Nobody knew they were going to be a massive hit or anything, did they?
Speaker 2:so it was just, it was just done with love and creativity. Now I know that they're going to be absolute money spinners, so they have to kind of yeah, they're always trying to go bigger and better, aren't they? You try to keep. You try to keep the the charm of the original, yeah, but also try and be bigger and serve a wider audience it went down the increase, the peril and the action and the you know um, your typical trying to be blockbuster. Yeah, it wasn't the first one.
Speaker 3:There really isn't much peril or anything, it's just a, it's just a little story about going to the moon, just uh, around a man from Yorkshire, wherever he's from, and, uh, I want to build a rocket in my, in my basement and go to the moon, because obviously the moon's a bit of cheese and we're bringing out cheese.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so why not? Yeah, I mean to be fair to them. There wasn't Deliveroo back in their days. You couldn't just get cheese delivered to your house within half an hour.
Speaker 3:No, not exactly. Not a Tesco whoosh or whatever it's called, that's a great name Tesco Woosh.
Speaker 2:Other food delivery services are available.
Speaker 3:Is it Because I don't quite, I don't use Tesco Woosh because it's not like a delivery, or is it like a delivery so there's like and you can't do like?
Speaker 2:your big shop, no, but say you just say like, oh crap, look, we need something for Logan's dinner. And it's lashing it down outside. You're like right, we need some beans, we need some milk and we need some orange juice. You'll pay a premium, from what I understand, but they'll get it to you within like half an hour or something. Oh really, I think so. Yeah, I think that's why it's called whoosh, it's like it's fast Whoosh Williams.
Speaker 3:We are a privileged nation. We are a privileged nation.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm glad you're back. So, karen, I'm glad you got to see Wallace and Gromit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a little. First look at Wallace and Gromit, benjamin Smith's Foul and a first look at me failing to use stairs.
Speaker 2:You're not the first and you won't be the last. Are we ready for a thirsty thirst? Oh yes, actually. Why not? Why not Before we go into the next first look we'll have a thirsty thirst.
Speaker 3:Let me just finish my tribute.
Speaker 2:He's finishing his tribute now, the gentleman. I am as Dan alluded to on the Carlsberg Zero, because I'm feeling very sorry for myself. I'm entering the first look fridge. Oh, he's entering the fridge. I've still not moved the microphone. You still can't get to the fridge because there's too much stuff in the way. And what do we have? Let's close the fridge. You must have got a nice selection of beers over Christmas.
Speaker 3:Fridges work best with the door closed.
Speaker 2:Can you not get it open?
Speaker 3:Here we go. We've got North Heptagon. It's called 7%, which I think is quite reasonable. I see 7%. I'm lacking alcohol knowledge here, mr Archicus. So it's an IPA, but it's a double D H IPA.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, double D H IPA. What's a double D H? Double D H, double D. H yeah, yeah, yeah, dang damn hoppy IPA.
Speaker 3:Double D.
Speaker 2:That's a double D beer.
Speaker 3:It's a double D beer. It's here we go. Nectaron hops deliver juicy tropical flavours in this hazy and hop forward, hop forward. Ipa Meh.
Speaker 2:I hate. See, I'm not a fan of these tropical beers. It's vegan. There we go. All beers are bloody vegan.
Speaker 3:No, they're not actually. No, they're not actually. Oh, they're not. No, I've told you this before about You've been on brewery tours and things, haven't you? Yeah, yeah, so many of your old school ways of brewing in the kegs, to keep them to last longer, they use fish guts. So at the bottom of a keg there's fish guts, okay, um, there's more. There's a better name for it than fish guts, but fish guts, and that's why, if, um, if they're I can't remember the term I'll probably insert something on the on the edit specifically a substance called isinglass, which is derived from the swim bladders of fish, usually sturgeon, is sometimes used as a fining agent.
Speaker 1:This means it helps to clarify the beer by removing yeast and other particulates, making it look clearer and more appealing.
Speaker 3:But with your old school beers, when you're drinking the bottles always leave the last little bit because all the stuff that sinks on the bottom yeah, so that's the usually the fish cat. So I recommend not drinking that.
Speaker 3:That end of the bottle okay, and also and also when you got, when you got kegs of the old school um beers, it's underneath the tap, so you don't get it because it's all to the bottom. So don't think, oh, I've still got some more in the keg. Tip the keg and I try to squeeze all the rest out of the tap yeah, that might be fish cuts. I did not know that I've got a it's less so now because they use, I imagine, just chemicals to keep it lasting longer.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm reading here. So, ladies and gentlemen, I have an empty can of John Smith Fish guts. No water, malted barley, glucose syrup, barley hops, hop extract, nitrogen Nitrogen in John Smith's head of business.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a bit of gas A bit of gas.
Speaker 2:It's got a nice, nice sort of sandpapery finish to the can they do that with a lot of the labels these days to make them tactile, don't they? Is that so?
Speaker 3:you, just, it doesn't slip out your hand, it's just tactile, tactile paper.
Speaker 2:It feels more, it feels a high quality. It does feels like high quality. It's a branding thing, wells, because you are, you know like, feels like high quality.
Speaker 1:It's a branding thing.
Speaker 2:Wells, because you are, you know, like if something, it's an idea, isn't it? If something's expensive and you take, your time by reading it, because you spent a lot on it. You enjoy it more because like, oh, it tastes expensive, even if it tastes like crap, and there's different psychology tests. You can do around giving somebody something that costs 10p versus something that costs £1,000, which one tastes better? And even people will say it's the thing that costs £1,000, even though the thing that costs £1,000 is actually the 10p thing.
Speaker 3:So it's all that all the perfume adverts and aftershave and all that before Christmas. It's all about the. They can't advertise the smell because we haven't got smell-o-vision yet, thank goodness. Some shows you just don't even want it, would you know? But but, and you know who would listen about beers? You know you're not gonna actually taste the beer. You just, who would listen to a podcast that talks about beer? Well, that's true anyways. Um, yeah, lovely can. Lovely can. Lovely can. What would you call that? Art deco, would you say?
Speaker 3:no, it's, it's, it's geometric various rectangles on a blue background. Lovely feel, as I said, lovely feel, lovely smell how's it taste?
Speaker 2:I'm not a fan of these tropical beers. Lovely feel, lovely smell. How does it taste? I'm not a fan of these tropical beers. And a lovely taste? Oh okay, well, that's good.
Speaker 3:And a lovely taste. I'm a bit like you.
Speaker 2:I'm not a fan of the tropical sort of stuff. Troubled taste, lovely smell.
Speaker 3:Sake and lilt Lovely can. Doesn't taste like a 7%. No dangerous.
Speaker 2:You know. You say this about all beers, though I think you've just got a bit of a like. Oh, you never told that was 9%, apart from the fact that I just fell down the stairs after drinking it. Yeah, I wasn't drunk.
Speaker 3:So you say that's a nice one for the ratings, for when the website's live and we look back at these and yeah, yeah, have a nice. You know, in 10 years time we might have a list of gosh. How many first year firsts could we have, so average of, say, 12 episodes per season. Imagine the beer new beers I've drunk.
Speaker 3:Imagine the ratings system that we'd have you could end up being just like one of those things you know, the Kelvin system, or like a money saving market where it was that was built on blogs, and then you sell the site for millions of pounds well, hopefully again.
Speaker 2:If anybody wants to be featured as a thirsty thirst, yeah, send, give us a buzz, send us some samples and we'll gladly try them and hopefully again. If anybody wants to be featured as a thirsty thirst, yeah, Send, give us a, give us a buzz, send us some samples and we'll try them at rape.
Speaker 3:Yes, and if we've sampled your beer already, I'm sure we'll sort something out. Yeah.
Speaker 2:We can go back and send the lovely people. So I think I mentioned this company every third episode. So the white water brewing company. If they want to send us anything, uh get in touch. I will let me just tell the world how lovely I think I need to title one of the episodes. White water brewing company just say someone finds on a search well, when, when you come over here, we'll go and, uh, I'll take you there.
Speaker 3:Well, so we'll drink all the beer sponsored by sponsored all the beer personally no, it was sponsored by? What water brew? Yeah, that wasroom. That was my firsty, first, oh very good, alright.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll go into my first look then. So mine's related Very similar to yours. When you started talking, I thought, oh, we've got to have the same first look here, but I've gone Slightly different, yeah. Yeah, because I was.
Speaker 3:The white comic bit or the falling down the stairs.
Speaker 2:Thankfully not falling down the stairs, but the kind of thinking what do we do over Christmas? The white-scarred bit or the falling down the stairs Thankfully not falling down the stairs, but the kind of thinking over well, what do we do over Christmas? No, our Christmas holiday was spent mostly just relaxing, nice and playing and doing all that kind of stuff. We had a big pre-Christmas. We had a big busy time where we did lots of socialising and then post-Christmas it was a bit of relaxing. I say that I was working on boxing day because I went oh, because I went for american and
Speaker 2:america, america, um, and I didn't book the time off and they're like well, no, we work, I had christmas day off and that's it. So I had to work um over the christmas holiday this year, which was a something I've not really done very often. Yeah, um, so it was interesting. Um didn't hate it, to be fair, it was. It was like oh, it's okay because we got, we have the least amount of holidays. They don't have much. They have about 10 paid days a year and then they have the federal holidays and stuff so like I did get two days off for thanksgiving, have a thursday and friday for thanksgiving, but we are going away.
Speaker 2:I could have taken some time off, but we saved the holiday because we're going away later in the year. So we did and obviously, with the time difference and Lesley-Anne was off, we were able to kind of manage it between us and still have lots of nice family time. So it was good. So what did we do at Christmas? What stood out for me, what was memorable, and the thing I've gone for, is the gavin and stacy christmas special. I don't know if you're a gavin and stacy fan. Williams, I've never watched them, you've never watched them oh that's interesting.
Speaker 2:You may be one of the only people who hasn't so I'm not really going to clear what you're talking about, you're not gonna.
Speaker 3:I will, I will well, it was such a big well in britain anyway, they're quite, quite a big thing yeah, I mean the show's been going for, so it was a bit of better history, I think I heard the highest ratings at christmas like 60 for the last 16 years.
Speaker 2:Wow, I was surprised it was. There was definitely. It was definitely the one thing on the calendar. Yeah, I'll watch that. I will actually go and watch it. We didn't watch that much ever before.
Speaker 2:So Leslie Adam and Brian also watched Wallace and Gromit, but I wanted to make an effort to watch the Gavin and Stacey special. So when Leslie Adam and me started going out together back in 2009, we took a holiday to Marmaris and I remember we were like, oh, we're gonna watch, we're gonna, um, we want to watch family and safety. But it was a full like iplayer and stuff. So we had to buy dvds. So we had like series one and series two on dvd and I had this kind of old apple back like a white mac computer, um, with a dvd drive and we took that with us and went on holiday, marmorus, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then every evening we'd kind of just chill out. We'd been to Watts Entertainment, had dinner and stuff and we'd watch Gavin and Stacey and we both enjoyed it. So it was very much like we've been on the. We are the Gavin and Stacey kind of like. You know, i'm't want to give too many spoilers in case people haven't seen it, but it was it was probably a silly question, but Braden being nine, yes, does he know what a DVD is?
Speaker 3:are we still? Are we? Have we reached that point?
Speaker 2:yet he does know what a dvd is, but that's only because I'm not quite there yet so we have, we have made in our house, we have made a cinema room like a movie room where all the video games live and music and I had a rather big you remember this one ims, a rather big dvd collect, dvd collection.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got some proper classics and stuff that you still can't stream now. We transferred all of our DVDs into these massive wallets of like 200k CD wallets, dvd wallets and what we do now. So, like on New Year's Eve, for example, we're going to watch a movie. Who picks the movie? What do we do? We try and get an agreement on a movie, so we're going to spread out the DVDs. We're like we'll go DVD style and you go through and like what any on any on this page you want Hmm, maybe that one and you pull them out and then you put them, you line them all up and, like you, you whittle them down until you've got something. Now we were trying to. We we want to get him into Avatar because we took him to see some Avatar stuff that he's not seen in the film. Yeah, but we ended up watching Chippendale, not the Chippendales.
Speaker 3:I was going to say Chippendale movie?
Speaker 2:Did I hear that correctly? We ended up watching the Chippendale movie on Disney+ yeah, which, for a first look, was actually excellent. It had a lot of. It was so much better than I expected it to be. Yeah, so the general premise I'm going off cabin and stays here and doing chippendale, but the the general premise of the movie. The chippendale were famous in the 90s. Now one of them is kind of doing comic con stuff and he's he's kind of he's a boat, he's trying to still live in the past and he's kind of become 3d generated and stuff, whereas the other one, um, yeah, he's just working in like a solicitor's firm and then's kind of become 3d generated and stuff, whereas the other one, um, yeah, he's just working in like a solicitor's firm and then they kind of fallen out and then they get back together and a lot of the kind of um, the, uh, what would you call them?
Speaker 2:additional characters from disney movies past, um, have all been effective. Peter pan has got pissed off because he's grown old and was put on the rubbish heap so he's stealing a lot of the old characters, changing them just enough so they don't plagiarise, and forcing them to make rip-off movies and this is the.
Speaker 2:Chip and Dale movie. Chip and Dale movie yeah sounds great it's got loads and loads of references to kind of you. I love retro. I always get a kick from going back and forth Retro and a bit of nostalgia. Yeah, a bit of retro, a bit of nostalgia Can't beat it. So it's got so many retro and nostalgic moments. They go to the Comic Con and it's full of ugly. Sonic Do you remember the Sonic movies that came out?
Speaker 3:Or Sonic the Hedgehog 3? The new ones, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So before the first one came, I've not seen them yet I think. Well, I think I saw part of the first one, but they're quite good, so that's another one. We took brain c sonic 3. That was very good as well, but there was um? Ugly sonic. So when the trailer released for the first sonic movie there was a massive fan out backlash yeah, because like oh, why's he got human teeth and what's all this going on and yeah, um, is that real?
Speaker 3:is that a marketing ploy? I?
Speaker 2:don't know, but like ugly sonic creatures. In this film and this there's a lot of oh right, p-man and skeletor and just you know, loads of kind of good stuff from our childhood yeah, lots of jokes from the adults um.
Speaker 2:So that was really good. So chip and dale, well worth a watch. Gavin and stacy um dvds are still cool, don't, let're never tell you otherwise. I still like. I still like physical media, while in um, I'm sure there's a lot of dads when you say dvds, is that blu-ray or is that? A mix. I have some blu-rays, have some dvds, have some old old school burnt ones that like just copied you know, like you probably could well at university.
Speaker 3:It was the um, um, yes, in um, especially in my final year. Well, I think it was post post uni, actually final year slash post post uni, trying to work out what I was doing. I lived in a house, um, with um, a chap named ray, and Little Ray, as we called him. Shit and Mario Kart. He what? Would have been. I think it might have even been Netflix. I don't know. It was Netflix or even Blockbuster. I think Blockbuster might have been gone by that point Love.
Speaker 3:Film, maybe Love Film, I think it was Love Film, and you could get three or four DVDs sent to you max per week, maybe even per day. Love film, I think it was love film, and you could get a three or four DVDs sent to you as max per week, maybe even per day, I don't know and you would get them, whack him in his computer, burn off a few copies, send them back, order some more. And yeah, I've got. Quite obviously kids don't know Pirating the DVDs is bad, but um, yeah, there was just that that era there was such a just burn copies oh so easy to do stuff cds, minidiscs, dvds it was.
Speaker 2:I mean, you can see why they're kind of the big company when you think about it. You can see why the company my streaming has come about yeah, because you can't. I mean it's a lot harder to kind of. You can rip off streams and stuff, but there's a lot less trust involved. If you put a DVD into a DVD player, you're not worried about a virus or anything. If you want a kind of a legally streaming movie, I'd be terrified.
Speaker 3:I'd take that a go and we'd in, and also the generation before us, so the millennials and the I'm not very good at my generations, but we would remember the DVDs. Put a DVD in, you're watching it, and then the shadow of someone holding popcorn just walks by. Well, do you remember that?
Speaker 2:I used to have VCDs. I used to get a car boot sale and you'd buy 10 VCDs for a tenant, like a pound each, and they were pirated movies. So there weren't DVDs, there were VCDs. So you put them in your Windows Media computer and I remember I had like Catch Me If you can, and all these other ones, and they were literally filmed in the cinema. Of course, of course you're not great, quality's not great, but it was apparent. So what's the film? Um, yeah, I actually remember as well, like at school. I remember like I probably shouldn't say this on a podcast, but it was a long time ago. I was a naughty boy. We're gonna get shut down because the last episode people.
Speaker 2:Well, we had two VHS players in our house so you could plug them into each other and put a VHS in and record it. If you put a bit of cellotape, so videos, you just have this little plastic bit on the front right yeah and it was. If there was no plastic bit there, it was just it was a stunning machine. No, no, this is.
Speaker 2:You can't copy it all you have to do is put a bit of electric tape and then you could effectively copy the video so if you go to the video shop, get a copy of predator. Put it in one video player, connect it with a scart lead. Let's go another one, which is one of the reasons morgz probably calls me scart lead boy yeah because you connect one of them to another one with a video and then there you go.
Speaker 2:So I, I remember, but again I'm going to give too much away here, but we went to when we were 16 or 17, we had a land holiday Safe space. This is a safe space and it's a funny story.
Speaker 2:We went to Loretta. Was it Loretta, no, salou. We went to Salou, we were 16. So 11 lads went to salute, but it was weird 11 16 year old lads, 11 16 year old lads on a coach, from wolverhampton to salute 28 hours on a coach. Um, we went there, but one of we went with one of our mates family. So, like, his mom and dad were there, his auntie was there. So there's actually about 20 of us, but there's 11 of the friends the parents had agreed yeah, yeah, bring all the lads, it's fine. What could possibly go wrong? So in spain, in saloon, circa 2000, you were 16. You could buy anything you wanted cigarettes, booze and, little did we know, hardcore pornography. So we were where our hotel was in Saloon.
Speaker 3:Cigarettes, booze and boobs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was so like we were in the hotel and the shop at the bottom of the hotel had like a spinny rack of videos and these videos were all porn ads, not like oh just you know, like what you could get in the.
Speaker 2:UK, which was a post with some, you know well, maybe a sitting apple. This was full on. Like the man is. The man is having some fun with with that lady and you can see every inch in great graphic. So as a group of 16 year old lads, in those days high definition well, yeah, grainy video.
Speaker 2:but it was like, wow, okay, what is this? So we bought some of the videos because we were lads and all the videos were in Spanish, obviously. So I was like, oh me, lloro mucho. So we bought this one because it's Spanish, isn't it? Oh la la.
Speaker 3:Oh la la.
Speaker 2:Oh, la la, oh la, la, oh, la la. Si El nido, Si senor, Si senorita Nido le pluma, Si senor, oh le tori, oh piano, oh, come on. Oh panty dropio, oh mi galio, Renci, renci. And we told him this group of six-year-old lads buy these videos. We're like, well, what are we going? It can make copies for everybody. So we set up this dodgy video copy in the factory in my mum and dad's front room so that everybody can have a copy of the ozone. So yeah.
Speaker 2:Fernando does my bae, yeah so yeah, I mean it was a lot of effort, like you couldn't put it one fast, like the DVD burned. You could burn a disc in like 5 minutes. If you're going to copy a 90 minute video, it takes 90 minutes to copy the video.
Speaker 1:You have to press, play and record and let it play and finish.
Speaker 2:So I remember one of the lads who remained nameless.
Speaker 3:He was desperate, I remember one of the lads who will remain remain nameless yes, he was desperate for his copy of the video it is. It is a public podcast.
Speaker 2:I think I already know who it is actually desperate, like literally, he just passed his driving test. So he must have been 17 and drove to my house like when we go home, where's my coffee, where's my coffee? Where's my coffee?
Speaker 3:I was like I haven't done it yet.
Speaker 2:Can I take the original? Yeah, you have it you just take the original and just go back, because all the other lads are going to want their coffees too.
Speaker 1:Different world, different world because we've never seen anything like that, never seen anything like it.
Speaker 2:Anyway, gavin and Stacey the Gavin, anything like it Different times, yeah. So, anyway, gavin and Stacey, yes, gavin and Stacey, the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special was very, very good. It wasn't one of those things that you just oh, it's unbelievable. There was a lot of stuff with like, ah, the big bath, and there's one scene when I won't even give it away, a couple of head-scratching moments, but it was nice. It was nice and they got it all wrapped up and gave it something to watch on Christmas Day Gambling Stasis.
Speaker 2:As a whole, I think it's a series worth watching, but I think it ran its course. It was a good show. Good show. Tips for Dads oh, Tips for Dads Okay.
Speaker 3:Tips for Dads Tips for.
Speaker 1:Dads Tips for Dads.
Speaker 3:Tips for for dads. Tips for dads. Tips for dads.
Speaker 1:Tips for dads get your tips out get your tips out.
Speaker 2:I've got one. I had one that I was going to do and then, because of just a rage induced moment, I changed my mind. So obviously people are coming, people with young children coming after Christmas we've already given a tip of how to. Well, if you still use VHS if you still use VHS, if you still use VHS, if you still use VHS and you need some. Spanish pornography duplicating. Let me know, I'm sure I can probably.
Speaker 3:There'll be someone out there that will find that useful.
Speaker 2:Nobody owns VHS these days. Do they VHS players? Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Will. Are they VHS players? Oh, I don't know. Will VHS be the?
Speaker 2:next vinyl? No, I don't think so. Cassettes are threatening to make fun back, but they're so impractical.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they are Vinyl's still.
Speaker 1:Take a lot of room as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, vinyl's got an actual quality to it. If you put a vinyl on, it can sound incredible.
Speaker 3:And it doesn't take too much space. Does it no space, is it no?
Speaker 2:and you get nice artwork to look at whereas your VHS tape?
Speaker 3:yeah, it makes it a bit hollow as well when you think about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably not very environmentally friendly either, like you know 72 miles of plastic but yeah, tips for dads. So tips for dads that are actually not related to technology from 1997. So I don't know about anybody else, but we've Post-Christmas. My son was bought so much crap, all the crap, all the plastic crap, all the cards, all the bits and bits Aside from his Cornish godparents? Obviously no, he Good quality stuff, Yours, your present was actually the first thing he used, Like straight away.
Speaker 2:He Good quality stuff. Yours. Your present was actually the first thing you used like straight away, oh nice. We got another game and my wife was like, what are we going to do with this box? And Brian was like, can I have it? I want to draw on it. So we started painting a box straight away, oh nice. But we have. That box is which still has piles of brain stuff from Christmas which you know, it's like where are we going to put all this?
Speaker 2:And you kind of you don't want to put it away because then you'll forget he has it. But he is just. Anyone with kids will probably share this, but they're just so messy Like he just spreads all of this stuff over the whole house. It's in this room, it's in the front room, it's up the stairs house. It's in this room, it's in the front room, it's up the stairs, it's in the dining room, it's in the kitchen.
Speaker 2:So my tips for that today to kind of like say okay, how do you get kids to tidy up their crap after themselves?
Speaker 1:and I wasn't going to do this one.
Speaker 2:Well I kind of I was like well, how do you do it? And we have found that, we have found a solution. Um, you can't necessarily find the solution online either. It's probably not very. It won't be very well received with more woke parents and more like oh my little angel's, a darling, oh my little angel. Our tip is if your child dumps shit everywhere, get a black bag and throw their shit away. Grab it and say we've told you. If you don't tell your child to patch yourself, we've thrown it in the bin.
Speaker 2:And throw the stuff in the bin. There's all these things online about oh, why don't you try a toy jail? Why don't you make a clean up song Toy jail?
Speaker 2:It's a load of crap. It's. It's too, joe, it's a load of crap, it's just nonsense. It's like can I be nice? You know what? Sometimes? Kids just need to be, need to realise that no, we're not playing around now. You can't just leave crap everywhere. I don't want to tread on any more lego figures and then you shout at me for the broken it, because I'm not.
Speaker 2:I thought you were going to say stick the child in a black bin bag, chuck her out. Yeah, just there you go. You live on the streets now you had your chance. But there's I'm a firm believer here that a bit of trauma. I'm a firm believer here that a bit of trauma and a bit of genuine threat is not actually that bad a thing.
Speaker 2:Every little line says no, you've got to be peaceful and say come on now, darling daddy wants you to tidy up. Come on, let's do it. With a smile. No, it doesn't work. You say pick that up now. It's going in the bin. And if they don't pick it up, get the bin, put it in the bin, and then you soon see they tidy up. Then, okay, okay, I'll get everything, I'll tidy it now.
Speaker 2:And it amazing because, like break, our kid has tried so many things. I don't know where to start. I need help, I can't do it on my own. As soon as you put his switch into a black bag, it's amazing he just suddenly learns oh, I can't, I can't. Oh, I do know how to tidy up. I did, but then you got the other one. So take your shit upstairs and put it in your bedroom. Okay, sometimes that's too literal, because they will literally take everything upstairs and just put it in your bedroom. You're like, okay, sometimes that's too literal, because they will literally take it upstairs and just dump it in the bedroom. So then you go upstairs in the bedroom and it's like Geoffrey the giraffe from Toys R Us has come in and just taken a massive toy shit on the floor and you're like girl, so you're just chucking it on the floor. How are you going to get into bed now? Your bed is full of pens and paper and tulle.
Speaker 3:How are you going to get into bed? It's nice he's into pens, but is that the pen's creative state? Is that braiding? Or is that that age group at the moment? Oh, I don't know I remember when we were kids mean, you were in Spain copying VHS, but for people like me, there was the Tamagotchi era. There was the yo-yo era, there was the finger skateboard era. Yeah, is Penz like him or is that like a?
Speaker 2:No, penz has been a thing with him forever. He's always loved to just draw and create. He makes books and stuff. He likes to write and he likes to. He's very creative. He's like you know. I don't think you may listen back to this in the future, ask him to write some podcast content. Well, he always likes to be on the podcast. He's listened to his own episode, easter special from years ago. He's listened to it at least four times and he's like he critiques himself. It's like, oh sounding so young?
Speaker 3:is it a top listener? It's a top listener's episode. That episode's probably the second most popular one.
Speaker 2:But no, he does love to draw, but he just doesn't turn it back to himself and and it's just everywhere. So tips for dads is dads, don't take any BS. Don't let them emotionally blackmail. You Kids sometimes need a bit of fear and they're like are you going to follow through and actually throw the toys in the bin? Don't, I mean, put them in a black bag and then if they say I'm going to throw them away, if they push you, take the black bag and put it outside or something. But don't really a little bit, but try and let your main business. That's my tip for that.
Speaker 3:It's funny because, um, because so from our, from our, because we had planning meetings. So we had a planning meeting before this season and we decided mr hodgkiss is uh, is in charge of picking the topic for uh.
Speaker 3:Tips for dads and um so he kind of gave me a clue as to where he was going. And it's funny because so with Logan, the tip we have, so with dinner time, lunch time and stuff, we actually get him to clean his little table himself Very good. So, quite the opposite, we're one of those parents, I suppose, that, um, so we get him to do a little song of cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, and he just cleans, cleans himself. So he's just, you know, just a little uh wipe and he cleans the, the table very good and and himself, sometimes his face not very well with some wet wipes.
Speaker 2:No black bin bags. Well yeah, because you've got to think, though Logan's two.
Speaker 3:There's a big difference. He's not even two and Braden's nine, so there's quite a difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if Logan was putting crap everywhere.
Speaker 3:So my tip to you wouldn't be Brayden? Start singing Cleaner, cleaner, cleaner Well well for the nine-year-old?
Speaker 2:I don't think Not quite as well.
Speaker 3:But give it a go, see what?
Speaker 2:happens. Report on the next episode.
Speaker 3:How that goes.
Speaker 2:He's getting embarrassed by me now, Like he never used to. He's like oh, Danny, I love Danny, daddy I love dad.
Speaker 3:What's the question about cleaning?
Speaker 2:try it. I'll try it. You know what I will. I'm going for anything. If it makes a difference, then it means you don't think I'm angry. I'll try it. So yeah, I'll try it. I'll let you know next episode how it goes. I'll uh, I'll record it and send you what happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, please yeah, so you can see his face when he just looks like what he waiting for me.
Speaker 2:Daddy.
Speaker 3:Anymore he calls me dad, it's like oh no, we've got a teenager who's nine we've had, uh well, we've had an awkward, though I just said logan's um, not even two yet, um, but you know, the words are starting to come out a bit more now. Um, and he's gone from dada to proper daddies to me, oh nice, but he's calling georgie the wife of my mum.
Speaker 2:Oh and the shit, I'm just mum.
Speaker 3:No, it's too. Not even too yet. Mum, ma, and she's like mama or mommy, but, um, anyways, well, yeah, tips for dad. So that's my tip. And then another tip I had, um, which is slightly different topic, um, but to do with the bad back, because I started noticing that a lot more Bend your knees. Bend your knees when you're lifting up your child or baby. I used to be a baby. I still was a baby. But a little tip babies get heavier as they get older. That's better. It keeps getting heavier.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, bend your knees when you lift up I mean, that's just general knowledge, william, everyone. Better than to use your knees? You're not meant to use your back when you lift things.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, I suppose so, but I presume Brayden's heavier than he was at two years old.
Speaker 2:He is, yeah, slightly heavier, slightly heavier now, yeah, not like you lift him as often I suppose? No, I remember when I had to stop having him on my shoulders I was like you're too big now.
Speaker 3:You're too heavy.
Speaker 2:Like it hurts Because the brain would have come everywhere on my shoulders. Everywhere he went, he was on my shoulders and like you'd walk, you'd go for a walk, you know. Even like like a few miles and stuff on my shoulders for a while down he's light as a feather, not a problem. When he got to about like five, six of them. So I can't, I can't carry on my shoulder, I can carry you for it. No, actually I can't even bother, you're gonna have to walk it hurts.
Speaker 2:So when that happens because logo, we're getting to the age now where, like you can sit on your shoulders I would imagine um yeah, I'm not a strut yet it'll be coming, like if you turn into, that'll be coming, and it's really sweet, it's like such a nice dad thing to do have your lad on your shoulder it's really special and then, when you like, it's really like. I'm never going to do that again, I'm never going to have you on my shoulder, unless you're in a swim pool.
Speaker 3:In a swim pool, we Well, we do this part of our bedtime routine just before bed. So I usually end up sort of brushing his teeth and then down the hallway from the bathroom to his bedroom. We do a rocket launch Nice. So literally like a rocket, I launch him from that side to the bedroom, he goes into the sleeping bag and then that's like the handover as it were. Yeah, but.
Speaker 2:Hold on to him, you don't actually throw him right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just chuck him yeah just hold him five for each one. And then when he just flies like a rocket across the, across the hallway holding him, and, um, there's something happened once, I think the wife wife said yeah, you never know when your last rocket is, is that? Oh, because one day, it's true, because one day I won't be able to do that, or he won't want it, or something but at the moment they're still.
Speaker 2:They're still happening. Enjoy what he can, enjoy what he is uh, dad joke of the week.
Speaker 3:Oh, very good, dad joke of the week. Dad joke of the week dad joke of the week. Why do the turkey cross the road?
Speaker 2:I feel like I read to prove he wasn't chicken.
Speaker 3:Hey, I was trying to think of the answer. I feel like I read this one To prove he wasn't chicken. Yay.
Speaker 2:I was trying to think of the answer. I've heard this one.
Speaker 3:A little spoiler for the next episode, hopefully. So over the Christmas period, like I said, various things are happening. I've had a couple of voicemails. I've had a couple of voicemails Very good From someone, so let's have a little listen shall we?
Speaker 1:Oh, I'd love to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2:I'll play the darts. I'll come and play the darts and I'm going to win the championship, and then I'll come on first. Look norms Darts.
Speaker 3:That sounds like Michael Van Gerwen. It was. No way the Michael Van Gerwen, I don't know if anyone watched the darts over Christmas and then he sent me another final one.
Speaker 2:Oh, don, this is Michael Van Gerwen. I'm very sad, I lost the darts, the darts right there. I lost the darts. So I thought I would do something to cheer myself up because I'm sad. I would do some to cheer myself up because I'm sad. I would do some dance jokes. I got one for you. I got a joke for you. Why did the dance player bring the ladder to the dance match? Because he wanted to aim higher. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha. Dance Ah, he, he, ah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So yeah lovely, yeah, yeah. So yeah, lovely, yeah. I don't know if listeners know, but yeah, I've got. I've got Michael Van Gilman's number. He sounded depressed.
Speaker 2:He sounded, he sounded down well but yeah, so he's yeah, he might.
Speaker 3:He might join us on one of the future episodes, so we look forward to that. Did he join us?
Speaker 2:in season two. I think you are done that. Did he join us in season two?
Speaker 3:I think you are done. Actually I don't know.
Speaker 2:Listen back I think, yeah, actually it did he's coming back again. He's coming back tune, in tune in to episode six maybe bye, everybody, baby.
Speaker 1:Bye everybody, bye everybody, Bye everybody.
